Biblical Blueprint to Joyfully Juggle Business, Kids, & Marriage

Show Notes

I’m back with another insightful conversation – this time with Rebeka Scott, a wife, mother of four, fashion designer, podcaster, and ranch owner. Rebekah shares brilliantly practical wisdom on achieving work-life balance. I loved her “top down” approach to priorities, putting God first, then spouse, kids, and work. She explains why this order matters, especially for parenting. Rebekah then dives into her life-changing “5 Systems” for managing the whirlwind – including simple but game-changing hacks. Like deciding on dinner by 9am to free up mental bandwidth. Genius! You’ll learn specific ways to guard your time, build resilience, and approach life with joy. Rebekah models a Biblical approach that equips us to faithfully engage in every role. I left feeling refreshed and full of hope. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, parent, or anyone seeking more harmony – don’t miss this conversation! Rebekah inspires us to steward our gifts and cultivate the lives God intends. Let me know what stood out to you in the comments!

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#WorkLifeBalance
#EntrepreneurLife
#FamilyFirst
#SelfCareForEntrepreneurs
#ProductivityHacks
#ParentPreneur
#BalancedLifestyle
#EntrepreneurialJourney
#EfficientSystems
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TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 – Support Group for Parents of Gender-Confused Children

00:02:34 – Priority List and Systems

00:07:43 – Gut Punch and Journaling Exercise

00:10:09 – Implementing Systems in Daily Life

00:11:50 – God of Simplicity and Rationale for Prioritizing Spouse

00:12:39 – Prioritizing Marriage and Parenthood

00:15:11 – Importance of Marriage

00:18:49 – The Food System

00:19:25 – Importance of Simplicity

00:21:16 – Finding Balance as a Couple

00:24:46 – The Value of Simplifying Daily Tasks

00:25:28 – Embracing Individual Creativity

00:27:42 – Embracing Creativity as a Reflection of God

00:29:24 – Balancing Priorities and Roles

00:32:50 – The Importance of Self-Care

00:38:43 – Self-care and serving others

00:39:11 – Striking a balance

00:40:12 – Making small changes

00:41:51 – Taking action despite challenges

00:44:03 – Accessing resources

TRANSCRIPT:

00:00:00 – Johnny Sanders
Do you have a child that is gender confused? Are you the parent of somebody that is either identified as transgender using different pronouns, or some other type of gender confused just propaganda being shoved down your your kids throats? Well, I created the biblically parenting gender confused children support group for parents just like you. The support group is completely free. We meet monthly, and you are able to connect with other like minded christian parents that are struggling with how to parent children that are gender confused. They are getting all sorts of nonsense brought to them by the world, and I want to help connect parents that are going through similar struggles and be able to tackle this issue through a biblical worldview. If you are interested in joining this group or know somebody that might be interested in this group, head on over to faithfullyengaged.com. And there’s more information about this support group there. I have a link down in the description below. Well, welcome back, everyone, to another episode of faithfully engaged. I’m really excited about my guest today. Her name is Rebecca Scott. This is one that I’ve had a string of guests here lately that I’ll be on their show, so we haven’t found filmed her show yet, but I’m excited to do that as well. So, Rebecca, why don’t you tell the audience a little bit about yourself?

00:01:35 – Rebekah Scott
Thank you for having me on. I love the name of your podcast because I feel like that’s what I approach every day is like, how can I faithfully stay engaged in the roles that he’s given me? I am a wife. I am a mother of four. We farm and ranch in South Dakota. So you’ll probably hear it in my. Apparently I have a thick accent. I didn’t know it, but everybody tells me that. And then if you can see my background here, it’s extra, extra creative because I. So for a living, I get to sew and design purses and accessories. And I have a team of about 20 women helping me to make it happen. And then I also have a podcast and an academy to coach women along to do both work and home life with joy. I don’t believe that it needs to be complete chaos. However, some days do look like that, but not every day needs to be like that. And so I’ve developed some systems so that I could continue to farm and ranch with my husband, raise my kiddos, and run a team of 20. And so I’ve really dialed in some systems around those roles that I want to honor.

00:02:34 – Johnny Sanders
Great. No, I love that, that introduction there. And that really leads into kind of my first question that hey, that’s a lot. That’s a lot that you have going on there. You talked about these, you have these systems in place. So I’m not expecting you to give us all the answers, but how do you manage all of these, the marriage and the ranch and these different workers that you have? What are some ways that you’ve developed these systems to manage this all?

00:03:06 – Rebekah Scott
Well, so it is a lengthy question, but I can give short answers of how I started. First of all, I think you need to just take a look at your priority list and to also put them in order. And so, for example, my priority list is I’m a servant of God. First, I’m a wife to Nicholas. Second, I’m a mother of four. Third, and then fourth, I’m an owner, founder and a creator. And I put that one last on purpose because the other roles came first. And so if that is my priority list, then how do I engage that every single day? And so I look like, okay, did I spend time with God this morning? Did I serve Nicholas like an easy, easy hack is before Nick walks out the door to do chores or whatever he’s doing, I say, is there any way that I can help you today? Nine times out of ten, you guys, he says, no. But the simple phrase of saying that honors him. And then he knows that I am available, even though it may look like I’m super busy. I did ask him first, and then what am I going to do to mark my role as mother today? Like, where am I going to spend time with them today? And what does it look like for them to know I’m not at their beck and call? Because that would be a disaster. Right? But I am available to them. So thinking through pickups and drop offs for school and for practices and faithfully engaging in what their attitude is for the morning and giving a little grace. If you’re like, okay, well, you’re 13 and you’re crabby, but you still can’t treat your siblings like that. Or like, I just want to tell you that I’ve been noticing how you clean your room and it’s super impressive. And I know it’s little, but it means a lot to your mom. So just kind of recognizing that that’s a good check, if you will, for motherhood, which is never checked off, by the way. And then I set to my work system and I’m like, okay, well, how am I going to serve my employees today? And how am I going to glorify God with the things that I create today and be a good steward of the people that he’s given me. And so that’s how I start, is by making sure that my priority list, I actually have it in two places in my house. Because it’s just a good, gentle reminder. Because the truth is, we all know this. Sometimes marriage comes second to parenthood, and that’s not really fair, but it happens like that. And I do know that there are seasons like that. But the priority list and the order definitely reminds me, like, wait a minute. How can I honor nick first before I approach this? Or how can we get on the same page that we can approach this together as a team? And so I say you have to have it in two places, because, you know, if you have a sticky note in one place, it just begins to blend into the background, you know? And you’re like, that’s just been here for forever, right? But if you have it in second place, it’s just that gentle reminder of, like, oh, yeah, that’s supposed to remind me of the first one. And so I have it in my closet, actually, in my bedroom, and then I have it on my fridge, and it’s just a gentle reminder of, like, hey, here’s your priorities. Also, if I’m squeezing in more work than necessary, I’m like, oh, that’s why everybody’s hungry or everybody’s crabby. It’s because I haven’t been fully present, because I’m doing my work too much. So it’s just a good gentleman. So I start with that. And then what I started doing was developing systems, because I had this moment, Johnny, and I think this is relatable to all of us. My son was 18 months old, and my business was 18 months old, and I was running into the house to get purses packed for an art show. So we’re talking like, old school craft show, right? You set up a cute little tent, you sell your. It’s like a traveling gypsy, right? You sell your gear, and you go on home. So I had made it into a show. I did have to be juried. I was packing the van for the show, and everything is going off. Like, the phone notifications are going off the email note. Our landline at the time was even ringing. Gus wanted a snack, and I kept walking past him with another load for the van, and I kept saying, just a minute, just a minute, just a minute. Well, this was, like, the fourth. Just a minute. And instead of getting frustrated with myself, I took it out on him, and I yelled at him. And to this day, I can still see his little sweet eyes welling up and wondering what he had done wrong. And me going, why am I having such a huge overreaction to his simple toddler request for a snack? And so I had a moment. I got him the snack because we all know toddlers do not forget their snack. I got him the snack and then proceeded to just sob and think, like, how am I going to do this? And I didn’t get the message, you have to quit. I didn’t get that message. What I got was a gut punch. And I think that your gut is your God organ. It just speaks to me anyways. And I was like, I need to figure out how to do both, but I need to do both well. And with joy. I didn’t think that I could only do work life really well or then I could only do home life. I kept hearing the word both. And so I did what in the art world is kind of a big deal. I called and I canceled the show. Like, I wasn’t going to be there, and they won’t invite you back. And it’s like, it’s a whole thing. It took six years before they invite me back. Yeah, it’s a thing. But I was proud of myself for prioritizing my son. And then I set to thinking, okay, how am I going to do this? Because I can’t just say, like, I’m just going to get better but have zero, like, how to. And I felt really, really like I had to steward the gift that I’ve been giving, which is creativity, and the role that I’ve been given, which is motherhood. So how can I do both? And so I did something super simple. I just journaled for a whole week, everything that I did during the week. And then I put a little time stamp next to it. Like, that one took me 45 minutes, or that one took me half an hour. And we’re talking everything from I timed bath time, I timed email, I timed making a purse, I timed supper hour and cleanup just so I had a general idea of where my time was being spent. Then I realized that there were patterns coming out of this after a week long. So I started highlighting, like, anything that was home life related, I highlighted that. Anything that was, like, work related, highlight that. Anything that was me time, like, trying to recharge myself. God forbid we should build that up. Like, where did that happen? And then. Then I was like, wait, here’s food. And, oh, wait, here’s, like, date night. Like, I started highlighting the different areas and realizing there is a pattern and realizing why one might be suffering because the other one was over highlighted. No wonder we’re bored with food because I’m not spending enough time in the food area. And so that’s where my five systems that you know about, Johnny, through reading my bio came from. And those systems that came about, or those themes, if you will, from this journaling exercise, was a me system. How to keep a full charge. A food system answering the question what’s for supper? A work system answering who, what, when, where, and why? Like answer those questions for your work system, a home system, like, okay, well, when are you going to do laundry and when are you going to clean house? And when you know, those kind of things. And then also a family system, what is the legacy you’re living and what is the legacy you want to leave behind? And do those align? Because we know what we want people to say when we’re gone. But are we actually doing that right now to set that up? That’s where it started. So a long answer to a simple question is everything that I do, I run through those systems going, okay, this gal is asking me to make cookies for the PTA. That’s part of my family system because I want to serve my school. But how long is that going to take me? But there was options. I could do 6 hours of volunteering or I could bake the two dozen cookies. Well, I know because I time everything. The cookies take me 13 minutes, 26 minutes for two batches. I’m like, I’m going to volunteer for the cookies instead of the hours. Now that’s not everybody’s, everybody else might say like, I’d rather do the 6 hours, great, go for it. But because I’ve timed it, that kind of thing did not stress me out. And it wasn’t like, I don’t know how I’m going to do that because I had the system in place to go, oh, actually, yes, I will decide, I can serve the cookies. So everything that comes about in my life, rather than feeling not everything, I am a total normal human being, you guys. But most things that start stressing me out, I start realizing what system does this belong in and why is this system broke? So that I can isolate it instead of feeling like everything’s out of control.

00:11:23 – Johnny Sanders
I love that top down approach that you started with and then getting more intricate from there that I had another guest on recently. And one thing that we’re talking about, that God is a God of simplicity. He’s a, he’s not a God of chaos. I’m guilty, as I’m sure everyone else listening to this, that we have chaotic lives at times, and sometimes that’s beyond your control. But if you look at yourself in the mirror at good times, more than not, there’s something that you could be doing differently. And, yeah, I love the way that that kind of breaks down from there. I did want to follow up with you just because I’m sure some of you listening to this heard those. Those four lists there. And, like, all right, first one, God, and the last one, job. All right. Most people that are listening, that are christians, like, yeah, we got that. But some might have done a little bit of a double take there of like, but wait, aren’t kids above above your husband? And I would love to hear a little bit more of your rationale and why it’s important for your husband to be above even where your kids are.

00:12:37 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah, I know that’s super controversial. So I would also give permission here that there are seasons where the kid is a priority, because you do have to keep them alive.

00:12:45 – Johnny Sanders
Sure.

00:12:46 – Rebekah Scott
Like, I always think when you bring them home, you’re like, this is seven pounds of flour, and I have to keep it alive. So there are seasons, but your husband or your spouse came first, and you wouldn’t have the children unless you had your spouse. And, I mean, it’s not any secret about what’s going on in our nation, about our divorce rate and everything else. And so I know that for me to be the best version mom that I can be to my kids, it’s to show them how to love their dad is to show them how to love him when he’s not at his best. It’s for them to see him love me when I’m not at my best, but when I prioritize. Nicholas, it’s so interesting. I have one boy and three girls to watch them, watch how I handle. Like, if he’s super frustrated. Cause we farm and ranch, there’s always something being frozen. And we live in South Dakota. You guys. I never get the opportunity to say I had a bad day because my husband is like, well, I was working, and it was 40 below, or I was working in 104, and I was fencing. Like, I never get the opportunity to say I had a bad day. But if they see me handle his frustration with love and care and grace, like, hey, seems like you’re super frustrated. Do you need to go out and do target shooting? That’s something that he likes and can blow off some steam. Then they see, like, okay, that’s not a deal breaker. It’s not like it broke mom down. But I showed them love for him and grace for him by allowing him to go, and vice versa. Guys, I’m the one who gets frustrated, too, so he’ll say, hey, go take a bubble bath. But they’re seeing that we are prioritizing our marriage so that we can show up better in parenthood. And I think if we. I mean, I’m just talking out loud, but don’t you think, Johnny, if you prioritize parenthood, always first, don’t you think the marriage would naturally suffer? Because. I don’t know. I guess I’ve never treated it as any other way, but I really think you got to do the marriage first so that you can be a good example of how to be a good parent. Because I know if somebody’s on my team, I guess that’s a major thing. If somebody’s on my team, my spouse, we can approach the parenting things much better.

00:14:39 – Johnny Sanders
But if I’m by myself, that’s tough, 100%. And I can speak of that on a. On a professional side with some of the. The couples I’ve worked with as. As a counselor and seen some of the kids from broken homes and also just in my personal life, as well. Um, and honestly, even just through, through, through, through, through, through scripture. Like, God created Adam and then made eve from there, like, with it. That’s. That was put in scripture for a reason. Uh, marriage is incredibly important. And, yeah, being a parent is wonderful. If you’re listening to this and. And you’re not a parent, I mean, I highly recommend it. It is. It’s a wonderful, beautiful thing. Um, but you’re right. If you lose that spouse, and unfortunately, it happens all the time. You mentioned the divorce rate, where you see spikes in divorce. And when I first saw this, like, what? That doesn’t even make sense. Uh, but you see spikes of divorce at, like, the 20 ish year mark, and you’re like, yeah, why would that happen? Like, they’ve been together so long. The kids left and they’re out.

00:15:47 – Rebekah Scott
The kids are out.

00:15:48 – Johnny Sanders
Yeah.

00:15:48 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah.

00:15:49 – Johnny Sanders
They don’t.

00:15:50 – Rebeka Scott
Right.

00:15:50 – Johnny Sanders
They don’t know each other. They don’t know how to love each other. And as you’re saying, too, and I think this is something every parent needs to understand, that, yeah, there’s seasons of lives where kids are higher priority. I’ve got three kids that are four and under, so totally get that. They take up a ton of time and priority. But as important as those kids are, they. My kids, they thrive when they know mommy and daddy are there together. That we’re not yelling at each other, that we’re loving each other. That stability provides you to be a better parent for your kids, to be well adjusted. So I’m really glad that you lined that out. And it’s a great reminder for parents that, yeah, your kids matter, but don’t forget about your spouse. They really matter.

00:16:41 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah. Oh, they do. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Just as. Just as a constant message to the next generation of why marriages matter and how important they are. And it is. I mean, you know more about it, but it is super interesting when we just got to our 20 year mark and I started thinking, huh, our youngest is eight. I should probably start thinking about the things we’re going to do together once they are gone, because we do have a ton of separate interests right now, and we both work independently. You know, I have my own business, he has his. He has two of his own businesses. And I’m like, wow. Our problem that we run into is we are so independently minded that it’s like we don’t need each other. And so what we are constantly working on is like, wait a minute. I want to know a little bit more about what you’re doing so I can take some interest in it. So we aren’t in the same boat when our youngest leaves, so I might have to learn how to coyote hunt you guys. I’m not so sure about that one. But if he’ll learn how to create with something with me, I could. I could get on board. But, yeah, I’m trying to. To think ahead. It was like, okay, so what are we going to do together? What kind of interest can we find now? And it might be something brand new that neither one of us have done.

00:17:46 – Johnny Sanders
Yeah. Well, and that’s that kind of feeling of compromise. And also, it’s just that showing love that you care about the things your spouse cares because they care about it. My. My wife didn’t know what first and ten meant before we got married, and now she knows what first and ten means. She watches football games with me. I didn’t know a lot of some of the. The shows and things that she watched or what really, what crocheting, really what that all meant, but now I do. It’s not that I’m great at crocheting, or she loves watching football. It’s that we care about each other, so we know each other’s interests 100%.

00:18:26 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah.

00:18:27 – Johnny Sanders
Leading into some more specifics here. So, like, all right, my. Let’s say I’ve got my four, uh, priorities down. I feel like I’m. I’m fairly well in check there. My relationship with Christ is going well. My spouse, my kids, my job. All right, I got. I got that. Now, I’m getting into these specific systems that you talked about. There’s one in particular that really stood out to me, and that’s the food system. Just one, because you need food to survive. I mean, that. That’s just pretty basic. Um, but of how much stress that causes in families lives. What are we going to have for dinner? Did I get enough at the grocery store? Are we eating out too much? So what’s kind of some key steps if somebody’s like, all right, I really want to get into this, but maybe they’re overwhelmed. How can they maybe get started in that food system?

00:19:25 – Rebekah Scott
Okay, so two very simple hacks that you can do for the food system is one, make your food decision by 09:00 a.m.. Okay, and here’s why. And this might be more relatable to women, but I think it’s also for guys.

00:19:39 – Johnny Sanders
You.

00:19:40 – Rebekah Scott
You get up, you get breakfast on, get everybody out the door, or everybody in the door. If, you know, maybe you’re still at home and you’re like, hmm, what’s for supper? I’ll think about that later. And then 11:00 rolls around. You’re like, oh, what’s your supper? I’ll think about it later. Then it’s four, then it’s five, and then it’s six. And you’re ordering out because you didn’t make the decision about what you’re going to have for supper. And I always give permission here, too. You don’t have to be the person that pre plans the meals and has everything planned 30 days in advance. That’s not me either. You guys, there are wonderful women who are like that. You guys find them and then follow their method. But it’s not me. But I do make my food decisions before 09:00 a.m. So that all day long, I do not think about that question, what is for supper? Because the mental bandwidth that that question, oh, my gosh, takes up, and I create for a living. So every last ounce of creative energy has got to be spent growing my businesses and serving my community. So answer the question once for supper before 09:00 a.m. And if you want to take it one step further, maybe you lay out some of the ingredients or just put the recipe card out, or maybe you make it. So in my case, I actually make it. Unless it’s a skillet meal, then I guess I get the ingredients out, and I wait till, you know, the supper hour to make it. But I try to do everything in advance because I like to work all the way up until it’s family time. So that’s one simple hack you can do for your family system. And I know it’s like, that’s dumb, you guys, it’ll change so much if you just make the food decision before 09:00 a.m. Even if it’s a simple text message between spouses, like, this is the plan. Get out the pork chop. Got it. And then you won’t think about it because you’ve already made the decision. So I also do. I take it one step further, and I do snack and supper. We farm and ranch, and I have hardy farm kids, you guys. So we can’t do packaged snacks or they would just eat each other alive. So we actually do, like, a decent snack so that they can go back out and do chores and have fun with each other and not kill each other from blood sugar issues. So I have to plan a snack and plan supper. But that’s my family. So what would that look like for your family? And that’s also the permission to. The decision may mean we’re doing takeout tonight. Totally fine. Or, like, in our case, tonight, we’re doing the concession stand because we’re out of game. Like, that’s. But the decision is made, so there’s less, like, indecision all throughout the day. And the thoughts. So, that’s one hack for the food system and the other hack for the food system. There’s many that I coach on, but the other simple hack is grocery shop once a week. So, this one is like, of course, that’s. That’s all I do. First of all, you save money, but mostly you’ll save time. And here’s the other permission. It doesn’t have to be you. It could be your spouse’s thing. If you give them the list and they’re the grocery shopper. Like, more power to you. We can’t do that in my house. Or nick would only buy cereal and oreos, so he knows I’m the one who has to do the grocery shopping. But just doing once a week allows you to save money because you’re not stopping to get sour cream. And then also. And then also. And then also, you know, so just one time a week, decide where that spot is because of the nature of the. The amount of rolls that I have, and then I prioritize. I actually only go to one grocery store, and I don’t coupon, which is probably a shocker, but I know where everything is in that store. I know it’s the most affordable one in town. My husband, my kids know where the stuff is. So if we’re going that one day, everybody, it’s just, it works for our family to just do one grocery store, one stop a week, because otherwise you get more food than you had planned on. And again, if you timed how long it took to get to the grocery store, buy the stuff, and get home, that’s like how many minutes that could have been spent playing uno like anything else other than shopping for the food. So there’s two simple hacks. Make your decisions for 09:00 a.m. And only shop once a week.

00:23:25 – Johnny Sanders
I love those because again, they’re simple, fairly easy to implement. This is something I talk about with my clients, often in all sorts of arrays of life, that most of the things that we do, most of the problems we have, they’re not all that complicated. Like, sure, some are harder than others, but it’s more about that discipline, and it’s a lot easier to be disciplined, to say, well, I’m going to make that decision by 09:00 and I’m going to grocery shop once a week. All right, there’s more things I can do from there, but, well, that, all right, I’m in the game now. So I love that simplicity there. And I’m sure that, I mean, there’s all sorts of different little hacks that you have in other areas, but food, I’ll tell you, on that mental bandwidth like you’re, you’re talking about. Don’t underestimate how important that is. I’m I’m fairly big into, into numbers. Like, I do all the finances and the house, so I like looking at interest rates and things like that. And there is a benefit for finding the best deal out there. Like the coupon shopper, I’m that way for what bank account has the best savings account or whatever. So there’s merit to that. But don’t discount the time and mental energy it takes you to get there, because it is oftentimes worth it to pay $2 more for whatever for your groceries than to deal with. Okay, how do I structure this here? How long is it gonna take me? Am I gonna miss baseball practice or whatever? Simplify it is absolutely worth it.

00:25:13 – Rebekah Scott
What I like, too, is when you isolate the system so you get somebody who’s feeling chaotic, and they’re like, I’m just gonna start with the food system. You know, you’re top down view. Like, okay, we gotta fix our food. Sometimes they end up finding, like, I super like the food system. Like, this is my jam. And they are the ones who coupon and have three different stores, and they know when the sales routes are going and all that. Like, more power to you. Like, I love when I’m coaching and they’re like, actually, my favorite is the food system. It’s never mine, but it frequently comes up for others. And I think that’s fun because then they could develop it if they want to do the simplified version. That’s definitely the one that I do, but I love when they can get more detailed because that’s, that’s their jam, and that’s what gives them joy and that’s what lights them up in their family. But it is fun when you get into the top down version, you know, looking over arching, it’s like, okay, I’ll just make a few decisions for the food system, and if that version doesn’t work in six weeks, I’ll take another lap on it and figure out how to make it smoother for us.

00:26:09 – Johnny Sanders
Yeah, yeah, that, that, it’s that creativity. And that’s something that when you’re talking about even just with, like, your design work and purses and all that stuff, um, my brain absolutely does not work that way. When my wife is doing crochet work, she can look at a picture and just do all that. And it’s incredible. I love seeing it, but that’s just, my brain doesn’t work that way. But what I will say is I have creativity and other means said even financially, that would be more of my sphere, that I really like, that I can be creative in. Well, what if I take this loan and lower this rate and then put it over here? Like, I love that stuff. And God made us all different for a reason. He may make you to be very artistic and creative. He may make you to be very numbers oriented or engineered like, or whatever your husband’s out and ranching and things like that. They all have their sphere of creativity, and God has made us that way, so we want to be able to maximize that. And those things that we’re not so good at that are still important. All right, we don’t have to be the best at it, but we can make it more simple and just get it done and think about it.

00:27:31 – Rebekah Scott
The first I could go on and on. Johnny, of course I love creating, but the first verse in the Bible is in the beginning. God created. Don’t you think the first thing would probably be what his favorite was. So he created. So I always joke that people say, I’m not creative. I’m like, yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Because we’re made in his image, and if he was creating, and imagine the amazing things that he created, if we can just create 1% of what that guy created, we’re amazing, right? And so we actually do all create, and we do have joy when we create, because, like you said, you love working with spreadsheets, and while the average person be like, that’s not creative. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. And that’s when you throw your shoulders back, because you’re like, yeah, I created that. They probably don’t use that word I created, but that’s what’s going on. And I think when you create, you do have joy. And that’s actually why I do my whole purse business. It’s custom. And so the woman gets to make it a super custom as she wants to get to design her own bag. Well, she loves it. And I watch it wash over them. When they do it with me in an art show where I see the order come in, they’ve got all the comments about, I can’t wait. It’s because they had joy while creating.

00:28:34 – Johnny Sanders
Yeah, absolutely. We are all called to create, and that’s something that, yeah, I’ve caught myself that when I say, like, oh, well, I’m not creative. Like, no, I’m not. I’m not great at drawing or crocheting or some of those things, that that much is true. But, yeah, if you are human, you are creative in some way, shape, or form, because we, as you mentioned, are created in his image. And he isn’t just a creator. He is the creator. So we absolutely are all creative, and we need to harness that, whatever that looks like. And don’t sell yourself short. Find it and maximize it. And the stuff you’re not good at, try to be. Get to your baseline, whatever that is said. If that’s the food system there of, I make sure what we eat and when we get it done. Maybe it’s not gourmet, but I got it done, and that’s fine. We’re not gonna be perfect in all areas. Yes.

00:29:36 – Rebekah Scott
Mm hmm. Well, I think you’ll find in different stages and roles that you take on that some systems will need a little bit more work, and some will just be on autopilot, you know, because it might mean that you’re taking care of a spouse that suddenly came down with an autoimmune disease. It might be that your parents are moving in or so some of those roles that come after work will actually need to become before work, like taking care of your parents or a child or whatever it might be. So when you have those systems dialed in, you’ll be like, you know what? Our food system drastically changed in the last two years because I have a son who’s going to play college football, and so he has to gain all this weight. So it was like, oh, wow, our beef freezer got a lot bigger, and I was cooking a lot more just to, like, help him out and do my mother roll of the dreams that he has. So looking at it like that, you said it will, some of the systems will just make sense to more people than others, but you will find yourself in each one of them because they’re just natural things that all of us have.

00:30:35 – Johnny Sanders
Yeah, absolutely. Something that I think in all of this while, as a christian worldview, you’re definitely going to have, you know, God first and then kind of work yourself down, and the self becomes really towards the end of that. And it’s one of those things where, like, we tell my daughter all the time that. That we’ve watched this guy on a podcast that said that babies, and we apply this up to young children are delightfully narcissistic, which I think is a wonderful way to say that, that kids are there about themselves and that’s the way that they’re designed. Well, my four year old, we’re trying to get her to learn more about what it means to be a young woman and everything. And she quickly goes towards things about herself. She says, I love. I love her brother. She loves her mom and dad, and she loves herself. And, well, I know, like, okay, like, we. It’s good that you have a good view towards yourself, but, like, you don’t have to say you love yourself. That that’s pretty much built in there. We all know that we love, love ourselves, and we’re trying to let her know that, like, hey, God has us to focus on. On other people to show that. That love that way. And I say all this to say that in christian culture, rightfully, we try to put the self in its appropriate spot because it really likes to leap upward where. Where it doesn’t need to go. But some get caught into the trap of, like, I can’t give any time to myself. I got to put nose to the grindstone all day long and never have any me time. So what do you see maybe in yourself or some of the people you work with of ways that we can still find time for the self, even when you just have so much going on.

00:32:37 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah. So we call that the me system. And that’s like, how do you get a full charge on? And you’re right, the world is telling us a lot of confusing things about self care and me, me, me. So you have to be careful as you approach that to make sure that it’s not a sacrifice to your other roles. It can stand alongside it, but it shouldn’t be a sacrifice to your other roles. And so two simple hacks, because we love hacks in the ME system, I say, is find a recharge moment weekly. So think about it like, okay, everyone will laugh at this, but, you know, when they get on an airplane, they always give the analogy of like, put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your kid. Okay, seriously, how many of us moms out there are like, yeah, I put it on my kid. Are you kidding me? Like, that would just be my natural reaction. So I don’t actually like that analogy. I think of it like a cell phone charge. If you forgot to put your cell phone on the charger overnight and you wake up and it’s at 39%, how long do you think that will last until it dies? It’ll be like eleven, right? So if you think of your body as a cell phone charge, because we’re all hyper aware of our own cell phone, actual cell phone charges, we would die at 11:00 a.m. If we hadn’t had a moment where we recharged. Or you have to find that for yourself. So daily. For me, that looks like Burpees and Jesus, that’s what I call it. I love exercise and I love Jesus. So that’s how I get my charge up to 100 so that I can approach all my roles with joy. But it’s different for everybody. And I’ve loved coaching over the years to find out what their, like, daily action is to get their full charge on. And then I also call it a recharge moment weekly. So that also is different for everybody here. Some people like to go, you know, my husband’s like the shooting range. I like to take a bubble bath. Some women like to go on a date with other women, you know, some friends. Maybe it’s a walk, so it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s alone, but it is something that’s marked as time for you to recharge. And then I definitely recommend so like, have a recharge moment weekly where it’s like sacred. Like, I go for this walk every Tuesday no matter what. Or I take the bubble bath on Wednesday morning no matter what, whatever that looks like. Where’s a recharge weekly moment to get that full charge? And then probably something daily as well. And then another hack for. There’s so many. Another hack for your me system is, oh, this one’s super simple, but you get it with little kids, wake up before your circus. For some moms, that’s only going to be five minutes because they’ve been up every 30 minutes, right? For some of us, that’ll be 2 hours. So I’m finally at the two hour mark and it’s glorious. So I feel like I’m literally plugged into the wall charging up because I’ve had 2 hours to myself before my own rogue animals hit. So pick a recharge weekly moment and then the second one is just wake up before all of your kids. And that may only be five minutes, and so I give permission for that too. But just that five minutes is enough of a charge so that you meet your own needs for a little bit there, whether that’s coffee or whatever, and then approach your family and start serving them. Just two simple things in your me system.

00:35:40 – Johnny Sanders
I think those are both. Both great. Yeah. The finding that time for that charge, there’s a lot of freedom, a lot of creativity. Again, there’s that creative word in there of where you can fit that in, and it looks different for everybody. For my wife, she is a, she’s a runner, and for her going on that jog, that just makes her feel so much better. And you can see that stress just melt away from her. For me, there may be times that I’ll go out and play with my dog, or if I’m just really have no mental energy at all, I might lifelessly play a video game or something just to get my mind not on something serious. But we all have different things. But what you’re not saying is, you’re not saying elevate yourself above everybody else and forget the. Forget their needs. You’re not saying to put aside a massive amount of time every single week for yourself. These are just real basic things. And we need to be careful as christians to not over correct. It is important to correct the me first type of culture that is important. But when we overcorrect and say basically that I don’t matter, like my desires don’t really matter at all. I mean, you see this in scripture that Paul’s talking to some of the churches that like, no, like, you do have needs, you do have desires. Like, God made us that way for a reason. So take care of that, just not at the expense of those other roles in your lives.

00:37:32 – Rebekah Scott
Right, right. Well, think about Jesus did it. He served his twelve disciples beautifully and all of his neighbors and anywhere he was going, but he himself walked away before everybody and was, for while everybody was sleeping to go be with his father. So that’s his recharge, like, so it’s already been modeled for what it looked like and it wasn’t sacrificial to anybody. It was his time that he was rebuilding himself so he could serve better. So I think if you look at your me system as a way to get recharged so you can serve better, that’s probably better language than so I feel better. It’s more so I can serve better because I’ll serve better if I myself am on a full charge.

00:38:12 – Johnny Sanders
I love that change of that language because that’s exactly what it is that I talk about this with some of the clients I have that maybe they’re, they’re depressed or anxious or whatever, and like, well, if I go to counseling, if I work on these things, I’m being selfish. Like, well, no, because what happens when you’re depressed, when you’re anxious, when you’re angry or whatever, like things are going bad, but you’re still thinking of yourself often. That’s really what selfish is at the end of the day is we’re, we’re thinking of ourselves all the time. And if I think of how terrible I am, I’m still thinking of myself. I’m just thinking of how, how bad I am. So by us taking care of ourselves, it actually takes time off of ourselves and off of the bad things going on. So, like you said, we can serve others. We really flip that script on its head.

00:39:08 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah. A hundred percent. And it needs to be done. Yep. There’s a pendulum. So you want to be in the middle?

00:39:13 – Johnny Sanders
Yes, yes. That, I think that’s something in culture that, and that’s a big thing of why I, I made this podcast to begin with, is many, many christians, many on the kind of conservative political aisle, are rightfully concerned about a lot of things going on in the culture. And I think we should call out some bad things that are going on. But that overcorrection, it leads to callousness, it leads to just being bitter, being apathetic, and that, that doesn’t do anybody any good by just complaining about what’s going wrong. Like, we want to see what’s wrong and improve and to be able to be engaged in our life. And that’s what I love about some of these little simple hacks that you have, is it’s not fixing all the problems of the world, but it’s getting us in the fight. It’s getting us going.

00:40:10 – Rebekah Scott
Right, right. Well, I always joke about, too, like, this will be written on my tombstone. My children know it. My husband, they joke about it all the time. She approached things at 1%, and she timed everything because, you guys know, I told you all of my roles, so if you think that I’m running all of them at maximum capacity and I’m amazing, nope. But I’ve got a lot of quick hacks to make sure everything gets met. And I do, and not everything, but if I do want something new introduced, I just do it at 1%. And so, like you were saying, making those changes, like, listening to it and complaining, will not do us any good. But what would 1% improvement look like? 1%? You guys, that’s like a Google search, or that’s just being bold for 20 seconds, you know, like, just 1% it, and we can make those changes so that it aids everybody in a better direction.

00:40:59 – Johnny Sanders
Yes, absolutely. And that’s something that, again, those that are kind of just feeling down or are upset about the culture, about their faith or whatever may be that they’re struggling with, again, they just lean into what’s going wrong instead of what can I do about it? And there. There are many things that might be going on in your family or in your culture at large that you don’t have control over. That. That much is true, but we limit ourselves so much to the point. I’ve known people that have, maybe they don’t actually exactly mean it, but some probably do. And that, like, why should I bring a kid into this world, this world so, so bad, or whatever? And I can understand somewhat of the sentiment, but that’s. That’s not what we’re called to do. Like, we’re called to. To be fruitful and multiply for a reason. Um, so don’t let these bad things that are legitimate stop you from taking action.

00:42:02 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah. I always think, too, kids, um, developing you what you need. So, you know, if you’re overreacting to a kiddo and stuff, to. To go inside yourself, which you would know a lot more about Johnny than I do, but just going, ooh, why is this striking a note for me? Why is this triggering me so much? What do I need to develop in myself that I’m seeing in this kiddo?

00:42:25 – Johnny Sanders
Yeah.

00:42:25 – Rebekah Scott
So, if you never had kids, I’m like, wow, first of all, that’d be boring, but not an option for everybody. So I understand that as well. But they definitely help develop who you were made to be.

00:42:35 – Johnny Sanders
Yes, yes. And that it definitely builds a, a resilience and a, just a depth of life. I certainly, before I had children, it’s not like I didn’t have any struggles in life. But when my daughter comes out and she’s screaming and crying, like, that was not fun. She was. She was a very difficult baby. But now on our third baby, who has a much calmer demeanor, and we know what we’re doing better, like, oh goodness, we can hand flat tire on the side of the road. That’s nothing like we got this. We develop this resilience.

00:43:13 – Rebekah Scott
Yeah, absolutely.

00:43:15 – Johnny Sanders
Great. Well, I’m sure people that are listening to this, like, wow. That maybe are interested in some of these systems or know more about even your, your designs and things like that. So how can people be in touch with you after the show?

00:43:31 – Rebekah Scott
Yes, well, you’ll have to listen to my podcast as well so we can hear Johnny talk to us. If you go to the encourager. I’m called the encourager. So if you go to theencouragerpodcast.com, comma, I have loads of free resources on there for some of the things that we talked about today, like two simple hacks for each system. Or maybe it’s a habit tracker that you need, or it’s the timing sheet that I talked about. All those are free resources on that website right there. Or you can take my academy, which is a digital course on the five systems. It’s less than 6 hours, so you can absorb it in a weekend and get really dialed in on those systems. That’s available on the encouragerpodcast.com as well. And we have a membership group, so if you’re still like Bekah, I can’t take the course, but I need to have your coaching in just little bits. We got you too. That’s also on that website. It’s called Clarity blueprint. And so I’d love to see any of you guys take a look at any of those, especially the free resources. You guys, we’re all in this together, so take advantage of that. And if you’d like to design a really cool custom purse, you can go to design your own purse.com and do so. There they are, all sewn here in the midwest by me and my team. And I think you’ll have a good time creating something that defines more of who you are.

00:44:38 – Johnny Sanders
Excellent. And I’ll have all of that included down in the show notes. Not entirely sure. I always film these into and well in advance, so not sure on the timing of this release, but if my episode with Becca is released on the encourager, I will link that down in the description as well. And I’m looking forward to being on her show as well. And and anyways, it was absolutely an honor to have you on, and thank you so much for sharing with us today.

00:45:10 – Rebekah Scott
Thank you for the opportunity, Jen.00:45:11 – Johnny Sanders
Absolutely. And thank you to everybody that tuned in today. All those links are down in the show notes, and we’ll catch you on the next episode.