Overcoming Life’s Trials: Gaining Wisdom and Insight from Pastor Scott LaPierre

Show Notes

Welcome to this enlightening discussion with Scott LaPierre, a teaching pastor, as he delves into the vital topic of preparing for life’s trials. Through the analogy of a football player’s experience, Scott draws a clear distinction between being blindsided by challenges and actively equipping ourselves to face them.

With wisdom and insight, LaPierre underscores the significance of immersing ourselves in God’s Word, cultivating fellowship with fellow believers, and nurturing our relationship with Christ. He emphasizes the pivotal role of local churches in providing a community of support and encouragement during times of adversity.

Drawing from personal experiences, Scott reveals his journey of making deliberate choices, including relocating to ensure his family’s well-being in case of his absence. He passionately advocates for men to be spiritual leaders within their families, fostering a strong connection to a biblical church community.

In closing, LaPierre extends an invitation to receive a complimentary book that focuses on nurturing healthy and Christ-centered relationships. His ultimate goal is to empower and guide individuals in their spiritual journey, fostering growth and resilience. Don’t miss out on this insightful conversation that’s sure to equip you for life’s challenges. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe for more thought-provoking content!


Scott’s Links

Free Book: https://www.scottlapierre.org/subscribe/

Website: https://www.scottlapierre.org/

Your Finances God’s Way: https://amzn.to/45fdZaM

Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/ScottLaPierre

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PastorWCC

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pastorwcc/

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Transcript

Johnny Sanders (00:09):

All right, well everyone, welcome back to another episode of Faithfully Engaged Today. My guest name is Scott. So Scott, why don’t you tell the audience a little bit about yourself?

Scott LaPierre (00:21):

Sure, Johnny. Well, thanks for having me on the show. Yeah, so my name’s Scott LaPierre. I’m a teaching pastor in southwest Washington. We’ve been here since 2010. My wife and I grew up together in Northern California and I’m also an author and speaker, although primarily I’m at my church most of the time, so I don’t speak that frequently. And we have nine children. We’re expecting our 10th child in October. Mostly the topics in my books are nonfiction, Christian living, marriage, finances, trials and suffering work and rest drawn largely for my sermons. I don’t have the bandwidth to write separately from my preaching, so if it’s in a book, more than likely I preached it to my church. My speaking engagements are primarily the marriage conferences I do, although sometimes I speak at homeschool conferences because we homeschool and we have a bunch of kids and I think that people think we know what we’re doing, but frequently we pretty much feel like we don’t know what we’re doing and happy to answer any other questions. I was an army officer after college, then taught elementary school. That’s when I became a Christian and wanted to go into ministry.

Johnny Sanders (01:30):

Yeah, perfect. Well, that kind of leads into that kind of first question that I had there. There’s a lot that I want to get into. But yeah, just tell me a little bit more about that journey of accepting Christ. And I know it sounds like you’re a little bit later in life. Did you grow up in a Christian family? Just kind of go through that story.

Scott LaPierre (01:49):

Yeah, yeah. Thanks for asking that Johnny. I appreciate it. I’m always happy to share my testimony. So I was raised in the Catholic church. We were, I guess you would say a devout Catholic family and that we went to church every Sunday. I was an altar boy, never heard the gospel. I thought basically good people go to heaven, bad people go to hell. Jesus died for your sins, but you still need to go through all the sacraments and observe all those confirmation. First communion, baptism in the Catholic church and that’s how you get to be good enough to go to heaven. Then in my early twenties, it was just my brother and I growing up. He was 14 months younger than me and he died of a drug overdose. He had become addicted to drugs, although he was very, very functioning well. He was in the military and I got the news that he died and a couple of friends or teachers that I was friends with and they invited me to their church and they just said, Hey, why don’t, it wasn’t like come to church with us every Sunday.

(02:47)
It was like our pastor lost his brother when he was about your age. You’re struggling, why don’t you come and talk to him? And so I didn’t have any intention of being born again or saved. Those weren’t terms in the Catholic church, literally just going to this church. It was a Calvary Chapel to talk to the pastor about my brother passing because of my struggles. And I even thought it would encourage my parents perhaps to know that I was getting some help with what I’m going through. So I go to this church, I don’t bring a Bible, I never brought one of the Catholic church. They hand me this Bible and the pastor begins the sermon and he tells us to open. It was to Peter verse Peter, and he reads a verse and explains it, reads a verse and explained it. And it was really a life-changing moment for me, Johnny, because I felt like God was speaking to me through his word.

(03:33)
I understood it where in the Catholic church, I’d never really read the Bible. It’s kind of viewed as this taboo, cryptic book. You can’t really understand. You need to hear from the priest to understand anything or the pope and all your prayers are to marry and to the saints. And so here it was like, wow, the Lord is directly speaking to me. And I heard the, I didn’t even get to talk to the pastor about my brother that Sunday and I was already looking forward to coming back the next Sunday. And then I heard the gospel soon after that and it bore witness. It was very contradictory to Catholicism, which teaches salvation by your, justified by works. That’s not a secret. The Catholic church says as much. I mean that’s why there was a reformation. So then it bore witness to me that we’re justified or declared righteous by grace through faith in Christ. And I was saved and then just kept going to church and really loved God’s word. I thought I would be a school teacher the rest of my life. But then I wanted to tell people to open their Bibles versus tell kids to open their math books. You might say,

Johnny Sanders (04:45):

Yeah, what a great story. And that’s actually something my church has fairly recently done. We have a monthly just get together and four times of those, it’s a business meeting, but the other ones is just kind of get together and eat together. And then we also have one member each month share their testimony. Testimony. And I think it’s fantastic because we hear so many different stories and sometimes people feel like, oh, well I wasn’t saved from drugs and alcohol myself or whatever, so that makes my story weak. But no, that’s not true. The beauty is we are all sinners and God saved us. So there’s a beauty in every testimony. So I really appreciate you sharing.

Scott LaPierre (05:33):

Thanks Johnny. I heard someone say one time that they thought they couldn’t share their testimony because it wasn’t dramatic enough. And that really saddened me. It was like all the testimonies I hear, they were a murderer and they’re in prison and they get saved and all of their terrible drug addictions. And it’s just like their testimony was not much more than I grew up in a Christian home and I trusted Christ for salvation. And I’m thankful for my children to hear those testimonies because that’s, my children are grown up in a pastor’s home. So I don’t want ’em to think that they have to have some ultra dramatic thing and go out and live in the world for 15 years or 20 years and ruin their lives and then come to Christ like the prodigal son. So I’m very thankful for those simpler testimonies too.

Johnny Sanders (06:19):

Yeah, absolutely. And kind of just leading into your family, you talked a little bit about what led you to be a pastor, but I’m curious on the homeschooling aspect. And those of you that have listened to the show know that my wife and I, we’ve got little ones right now, but we’re already doing some homeschooling things with them and it’s a topic I’m pretty passionate about. So I’m curious for you, for you and your wife, did you always plan on homeschooling? Was it something you came to later?

Scott LaPierre (06:52):

Yeah, that’s a great question. Johnny. So I mentioned that I went to that church to talk to that pastor. Well, he homeschooled and his daughter was one of the teachers at the school and she had younger siblings who were being homeschooled. And that was my introduction to homeschooling. I never grew up with any familiarity with it. I saw these parents discipling their children, spending time with them. And so I guess I would say this, even if you put your kids in public school, you still need to view yourself as a homeschooler and that you’re schooling your children, discipling them. So I have some real concerns about public school, which I can share in just a moment. But even if you’re committed to that route, it’s a settled issue for you. You still need to see yourself as responsible for the discipleship training and admonition of your children.

(07:39)
Deuteronomy six, there’s no way around it. When your children go to bed, when they wake up, they always need to be hearing God’s word. We’re responsible for them. And so how we came to that was I liked seeing this family that was able to spend a lot of time together. I think the time we have with our children is very limited. When you do the math about the number of hours that your kids will be in public school, you’re going to lose so much of the most important years of their life. So that’s one thing. And we tell our children that they know it’s not like our home is. I’m a very extroverted social person, so is my wife. Our family is loud. Our kids are frequently during family meetings, all trying to talk at the same time. They’re interrupting, they can get upset with each other.

(08:25)
It’s not like everyone’s sitting perfectly on the couch just listening, Hey daddy, keep talking to us or something. We’re actually reading a booklet right now by Stuart Scott from, it’s from A C B C, the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors about communication to better communicate as a family. We have so many people trying to talk at the same time. So anyway, my point is my children see the difficulty associated with trying to homeschool buying curriculum, how much easier it would be to put them in a public school. And so we just tell our kids, we say, Hey, we value our time with you. We know that it would be easier and that’s why many people might do it, but we want the route that we think allows us the most time with you because you’re going to get married and leave our home. But then second, we’re concerned about many.

(09:14)
And I’d like to think any honest Christian acknowledges that public schools have some very unbiblical at best. But even wicked teachings like evolution, transgenderism, the pro homosexual agenda, these are things that super undermine a young person’s faith. And when I was a school teacher, there were some wonderful teachers. They were Christians, like I said, it was that pastor’s daughter I taught with. They want to walk with the Lord, but they’re still forced to teach a curriculum that undermines faith. Now the other thing is, let’s say your child has a Christian teacher. When those children go out to the playground, when they’re at lunch, they’re making friends. They’re around non-Christians. There’s an environment that was very concerning to us. We didn’t want our children around. Now one of the things, and the other thing is some people say, well, you were a school teacher and you want to homeschool.

(10:07)
That doesn’t make sense. And I’m like, I want to homeschool because I was a school teacher. There’s things I saw that were very concerning to me. And so my wife wasn’t homeschooled. We both went to public school together. That’s how we met. And so a lot of people say this, well, I can’t homeschool because I don’t know how to homeschool. Nobody knows how to homeschool. We didn’t know what we were doing. We’re still figuring it out. And the most important thing is that you’re pointing your children toward Christ. You’re planting the word in their hearts. So my wife is reading biographies of missionaries to our children’s. They come to my office and they do some of the math here, but generally there’s two problems, two big mistakes people make with homeschooling. The first mistake is they think way too highly of public school teachers. So they compare themselves to them and they’re like, I can’t do that.

(11:02)
They’re the professionals. That’s simply not true. I was one of those professionals and they’re not better than you for your own children. And the second mistake everyone makes is they think way too lowly of themselves. And so it’s like, again, they’re comparing themselves to the public school teachers that they think are the experts and have all the training. You’re the best teacher for your children. God has given them to you. God has given you to them. And so nobody is going to be better for your children than you. And so those are the big three things. We wanted the time with our children. We thought it was our responsibility. God has placed the responsibility of training and discipling my children on my wife and me. And then third, we were concerned about, so even what they would learn or be around in a public school.

(11:52)
Now let’s say you put your kids in a Christian school, there’s still two concerns for me then obviously Christian school is better than public school. One concern for, and this is I’m just sharing, you asked this question, I don’t condemn or I don’t go out in the world and condemn anyone that’s not homeschooling. So our concern with the Christian school, two concerns were we didn’t know all the other kids. Our kids would be around and sometimes kids get, actually, I’m not joking, kicked out of public school and then they find themselves in Christian school. And then the second thing, we still had this very strong conviction that our children were our responsibility and not the responsibility of someone else.

Johnny Sanders (12:36):

I think those are fantastic thoughts and they are extremely similar to my wife. And I think at the core of all of that, and again for the listeners that either you’re not homeschooling, not planning on it, or if you are just worried you’re concerned, I don’t know how to do it. What Scott said there though, that even if you are homeschool, sorry if you’re putting them in public school, you still need to be involved. You still need to check in with your kids. That’s something that my wife and I have really been a little surprised at. Just for the audience and for Scott here, we live in rural Oklahoma, so we are like, we’re the reddest of all the red areas in the country. And we had this moment in Sunday school, even a bigger conservative Christian area, Sunday school in this red part of the country where we weren’t even planning on homeschooling at the time, but my wife was a teacher like yourself and was planning on taking years off at least a decade off.

(13:50)
She was pregnant with her first child and she really wanted to be a stay at home mom. And that fact alone, not even staying homeschooling, but just not going back to work, was met with almost like a stunned silence in Sunday school in rural Oklahoma. So this kind of notion is not limited to Los Angeles, this is everywhere. And we have to take serious the education our children are having, whether it’s in our own home or whether it’s at public school, that we can’t just push that off and think it’ll end up fine because it just won’t.

Scott LaPierre (14:36):

Yeah, well said. And if any of your listeners have any questions about homeschooling, I’ll provide my contact information, ways to reach me at the end. I’d be happy to help them. I just want to really stress to everyone. Johnny, my wife would say she’s the last person who thought she would homeschool. This is she basically, I had my requirements when I got married and I think I tell my kids the same thing. Hey, kind of have your deal breakers with your potential spouse. Our oldest is going to be 16 in a couple of weeks, and so we’re not at that place where any of our kids are getting married yet, but we still talk about these things. And so one of the, let’s say essentials or deal breakers for me was being a homeschooling mother. Well, my wife was never planning to homeschool, and so she threw herself into something that she still finds to be a very big struggle for. I could have a kid coming into my office here any minute interrupting us. That’s what our lives kind of look like. And so I just don’t want anyone think, some people think this, they think, well, you homeschool because you’re a homeschooling person or mom or dad, but I’m not. There’s no such thing as a homeschooling mother or father, a homeschooling mother or father is just simply someone who decided to homeschool. They’re not built differently, they’re not gifted better or anything along those lines.

Johnny Sanders (15:52):

I think that’s a fantastic point and something that as an extra bit of encouragement, Scott just showed this, if you are serious about homeschooling, ask questions, find people. That’s something I have really have noticed in the homeschooling community, which is quite large and has all sorts of different people that are in it, is people generally want to help and they might point you towards a curriculum or, oh, we tried structuring it this way and it worked or we did it this way and it didn’t work. Ask, and more than likely, people are going to be willing to help you out

Scott LaPierre (16:30):

And well said. And homeschooling was like this very kind of foreign, almost strange, obscure, nebulous thing for many people 40 years ago. And now there was no curriculum. You go to homeschool conferences, the vendor booth, the booth selling homeschool curriculum are endless. And people used to have the problem of, I can’t find homeschool curriculum now. It’s like I can’t choose between the 40 different things that all look good to me. And then the second thing is Covid sent a bunch of covid was a tough season for lots of reasons. That’s a whole other conversation. But one of the things it did is it put children at home with their parents and suddenly parents are like, wow, I got to homeschool my kid. Now there’s been this huge surge of homeschooling families, homeschoolers, which is really a wonderful thing. So yeah, there’s a lot of resources now in helpful people.

Johnny Sanders (17:21):

Absolutely. Now, this is something you kind of alluded to a little bit earlier, but just in your own personal life and then just through I’m sure many of the church members that you’ve counseled, what would you say are some of those common marriage type of issues that couples face?

Scott LaPierre (17:41):

Yeah, so here’s kind of what happened, Johnny, and I’m going to answer your question. It’s getting a little momentum into it. So I guess saved the Calvary Chapel, which verse by verse, expositional book by book. And I love that and that’s what I do. I’ve been going through Luke for years, but I saw a real need to help marriages in my church. It occupied much of my time when our church grew to hire an associate pastor. But at this time, sometimes people don’t understand that. Actually, I think the toughest ministry for pastors is a smaller church where you’re the preacher, counselor, decipher, possibly church secretary, you name it, it’s on your shoulders. A church grows. They can hire multiple pastors where the senior or lead pastor can then focus more on preaching and teaching, which is kind of where we’re at. But at that time when I was doing more counseling, mostly marriage counseling, I thought, I want to equip my church.

(18:38)
And so I decided, we visited another church for some counseling training and they had a marriage month every year. And I talked to the elders and they said, oh yeah, that’d be great. Let’s do a marriage month at our church. Well, the running joke was the marriage month became the marriage year because I was preaching these sermons and as a pastor you kind of feel out your congregation and I’m trying to read them as this taken too long. Is this boring? Is this repetitive? And it’s like everyone seems to really be enjoying these marriage sermons. And I was finding considerably more content on marriage. I was thoroughly enjoying the studying and preaching. I kind of think, oh, I’ll go through Ephesians five. Well then I tackle first Peter three, and then I see there’s all these marriages in the Old Testament that are very instructive, like Abraham and Sarah in Samuel and in uc with Hannah and her husband.

(19:33)
And he’s like, oh, why do you care about having any children when you get to have me? He’s super insensitive to his wife. There’s s Samson and Delilah, how she nags him to death and the potential for a wife to nag her husband. All the proverbs about nagging. So all I’m saying is I’m finding this wealth of content on marriage. So I’m preaching these sermons and then that’s the content that became my first book Marriage God’s Way, and essentially Johnny. I just wanted to equip my church. I just wanted to see stronger marriages. To answer your question shortly or simply. Yeah,

Johnny Sanders (20:08):

And I think that’s obviously such an important topic. And this is something a friend of mine we talk about often. This friend is still single and not that I have everything figured out in my marriage, but he sees, Hey, I’m married. I have three kids. Well actually I have three kids in the biblical sense. One’s not out yet. We have one that’s two and two in August. And

Scott LaPierre (20:34):

So how many kids do you have and what are the ages?

Johnny Sanders (20:36):

Yeah, so I have a three-year old, he’ll, a one-year old, that’ll be two in July, and then another boy that will be born in August. So wonderful. We’ve got the three. So we’re wonderful. Johnny, super excited about that. So this Francis is asking me some wisdom about marriage and things like that. And he tells me this common theme of people that I think have good intentions. I don’t think they’re trying to be demeaning towards marriage, but the common thing is man marriage is just, it’s so hard. It’s one of the hardest things that you can do. And there’s wisdom in that. There’s relationship problems that happen and you need to guard against that. But you also miss in that the joy, goodness, my wife and I look at our kids and we think, man, there’s been a lot of struggles with that, but we can’t imagine life without those kids. Do you get the sense of that, of either couples or people in your church that kind of focus on the struggles almost too much and miss some of the joy of marriage?

Scott LaPierre (21:52):

Yeah, I think you mentioned two things there that both involve joy and struggle. You mentioned marriage and you mentioned children. And so I think both of those can give us some of the greatest joy and blessing we experience on this side of heaven. And both of those can also give us some of the greatest trials or suffering. I mean, some of the worst suffering people experience can come from a rebellious child. So let’s just deal with marriage first. So really the question Johnny is not what’s going to allow me to be happiest or the most selfish, or even the question isn’t even what’s going to allow me to enjoy my life the most. The question all of us should be asking is, what does Christ want for us? So we don’t go through this life saying, what’s going to be easiest or funnest For me, the question is what does the Lord want for me?

(22:40)
For most people, what he wants is marriage. That’s the typical normal healthy pattern. It’s not Genesis two 18. It’s not good for man to be alone. And so you go into marriage and I generally encourage people to get married, to be honest, younger or sooner than later, assuming they’re at a healthy age for that. Because I’ve noticed the problems for people that are single for a very long time, it’s a dramatic change for them. It’s a shock to go from a life of singleness with a large focus on yourself, the only person you have to focus on to then having to live for or with another person. And I was kind of in that category. I actually wanted to get married. I became a Christian in my early twenties, and then it was like, now I can’t live with a woman in any longer. I need to follow God’s word regarding purity.

(23:36)
So I wanted to get married, but I couldn’t find a wife for a few years. So I think I was 26, which isn’t super old, but I’d had some years living by myself. And so I think it would’ve been much better if I’d have gotten married earlier. A man needs to be ready to take care of a home and a family, but you don’t have to be wealthy. I think some people think, no, I got to get my career. I got to get all these things established. There’s some super wonderful couples that are living on very little in a modest home, they might be pinching pennies, but that’s a wonderful way for them to get started. Now with that said, there’s a lot of wonderful things God wants to do through our marriages and some of the trials or difficulties we experience can be more sanctifying than almost anything else we go through.

(24:19)
So for me personally, I’m constantly learning as a husband through my wife, how selfish I am, how impatient I am, how aggressive or intense I am. At times I wouldn’t know that without Katie pointing these things out to me. And so the question is, do I want the sanctifying work that God has for me through marriage? And hopefully the answer to that is yes. Now with that said, there’s also great joy and blessing. Katie’s my best friend, she’s my favorite person to be with. We have our struggles and I do marriage conferences more than anything else. I was in Oklahoma for a marriage conference in February, so I’m kind of wondering how far I might’ve been from you.

Johnny Sanders (25:02):

Where were you at?

Scott LaPierre (25:04):

I was at near Oklahoma City.

Johnny Sanders (25:07):

Okay, that’s roughly hour 15 ish away, not too terribly far.

Scott LaPierre (25:12):

Okay, we get off after we finish the interview. I’ll send you the information for that, see how far you were. And so I tell people every marriage conference, look, we don’t have a perfect marriage. We have our problems too. I need to regularly ask my wife for forgiveness for things, insensitive things that I do. But all these are ways for us to grow, learn about ourselves and be sanctified. And it’s pretty much the same thing with children. And so I don’t think it’s good, just like I don’t think it’s good to get married super late. I don’t think it’s good to get married and then wait a super long time to have children because you can get used to just being the two of you. And then when you have a child, just kind of a shock to have to be everything changes. Well, if you never know anything different, because Katie got pregnant pretty soon after we were married, I think two or three weeks after we were married, she told me that she was expecting.

(26:08)
So we only had about nine and a half months of knowing what it was like to be just the two of us. And so we’ve never, someone watches our kids, it’s a special thing for us, but I can’t imagine what it’s like for people to spend years just the two of them to then have a child would be, I’m actually glad we never knew life like that. So I guess I know if this is too personal for your show, but we got married with a conviction to just let God be in charge, be in control of our family. You can kind of guess that when I say we have nine kids with a 10th on the way. So this is not a commentary on what everyone else has to do, although I will give a couple recommendations. But for us, we just thought God should be in charge of this and we would let his fingerprints, we wanted his fingerprints on our family.

(26:53)
So when I reached the end of my life, it’s not that I wanted to have 12 kids or 10 or five or seven, I just wanted whatever God had for us. It could have been three, it could have been five, maybe it’ll be 11 or 12 or maybe it’ll be 10. We just wanted it to be whatever God knew was best for us. I do think there can be circumstances. We have a young woman in our church whom we love, her name’s Rachel die. If anyone wants to pray for her. And she has three young children. She has been battling stage four cancer. She has not been able to have children and they’ve taken medication that can prevent that. And I thought that was a very reasonable, reasonable thing. But to be honest, Johnny, most of the time when people don’t want to have more children, I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh.

(27:38)
The reasons I hear are typically kind of selfish. I think people are concerned financially that can be very legitimate. But we lived on a single income, our whole marriage. I was a school teacher, now I’m a pastor. I think everyone knows neither of those professions pays tons of money. So it’s God’s taken care of us and our church takes care of us. And I do believe that most people should trust that the Lord would take care of them. Matthew 6 33, seek verse the kingdom of God. All these things will be added unto you. And so you kind of go through life trusting God to provide for you. You make the decisions you think he wants you to make and then you trust him to pick up the tab, you might say. And so we’ve always thought that if God wants us to have five kids or 10 kids or 12 kids, he’s going to give us what we need to take care of five kids or 10 kids or 12 kids.

(28:27)
And we never thought we’d be wealthy, but that was never one of our goals to be wealthy either. The one thing I would say, if you’re thinking about limiting family size or spacing out children, just don’t do anything permanent. Don’t do anything. Don’t choose barrenness is how I would say it. Just don’t do anything permanent. You might regret it. And to be honest, Johnny, one of the most common regrets I’ve heard from people at conferences or in my church is I wish we had had more children. I’ve sat with people in tears who are then in their late forties or fifties or even sixties saying I would do anything to go back and have not made the decision that I did. And so when I talk about having more children, I don’t do this Johnny to condemn people. I’m not trying to say, you’re in sin, you need to repent.

(29:19)
I’m trying to help people avoid the regret that I’ve seen people experience. So it’s kind of like when you talk about abortion, when you talk about abortion, you don’t do it to condemn everyone who’s had an abortion. You do it to prevent people from having abortions. Well, similarly when I talk about children, I’m not condemning people who just have a couple kids. I’m trying to help people avoid a decision that they could literally regret the rest of their lives met people in that situation. So I would just say if you delay for whatever reasons and there’s reasonable ways to delay, just don’t do anything permanent.

Johnny Sanders (29:56):

Yeah, I think that’s some good practical wisdom because yeah, once something’s done and you can’t go back and change changes of regret, certainly can go hard. But I do appreciate your difference there between a sinful act, which I know we both would. And I assume most people listening on the abortion front would like, okay, yeah, that’s pretty clear there. We wouldn’t say that’s the same thing here. If I choose not to have children, more children, yeah,

Scott LaPierre (30:30):

Definitely distinguish between those,

Johnny Sanders (30:33):

But the lack of joy there and some of the, oh, I lost my microphone there for a second.

Scott LaPierre (30:42):

I probably hear you.

Johnny Sanders (30:44):

Yeah, I think it picked up a different microphone there, but my own, my U s B thing fell out. Anyways, we’ll keep going with that. But yeah, we don’t want to miss out some of that joy. And I think that’s some good sound logic there. Just in general, when something’s permanent, you better be wise about that. We don’t get to go back there.

(31:11)
I wanted to speak a little bit more on something you touched on just real briefly, which is really just the financial component of things. Something real quick on just my personal side of things, when my wife and I got married, we were okay. I remember speaking into my wife, she just graduated college and I wasn’t in a super high paying position, but we didn’t have any debt. And I explained to her that that’s a really big deal that we don’t have debt. And just trying to guide her saying we’re going to be okay. And I’m not trying to communicate here that everybody’s going to just get wealthy and kind of do the health and wealth side of things, but we have been very blessed in different financial things for me to be able to work and her to stay home with kiddos and us being able to homeschool kind of similar in your way. And we definitely have trust that God had provided for us. On the same sense, God gave us wisdom for a reason and we’ve intentionally structured things in a way to not have a lot of debt and to not live extravagantly. So we’ve been able to care for our kids and everything. So would you mind speaking to the audience a little bit about finances and maybe some ways they can structure their finances in a type of way?

Scott LaPierre (32:40):

Yeah, absolutely. And I’ll try to provide a little bit of credibility here. So I shared earlier I wrote a marriage books, and that’s called Your Marriage God’s Way. I dunno if you’ll put it in the show notes. And then the other book, another book of mine is called Your Finances God’s Way. Well, if you ever want to publish a book, a publisher, unless if you self-publish, you can do whatever you want. But if you expect a publisher and my publisher has been Harvest House to pick up your book, one of the first things they’re going to say is, how does your marriage book, how’s it distinguished from all the other marriage books out there? How is your finance book distinguished from every other finance book out there? So I think one of the reasons Harvest House wanted to publish my book, your Finances God’s Way, is they thought, Hey, if there’s a guy that’s taking care of nine kids with a 10th on the way on a single income pastor’s salary, he probably knows something about finances.

(33:29)
Well, there’s some truth to that. I did preach on finances at my church. I said earlier I wanted to quit my church with marriage. Well, one of the other things I found was I’m doing financial counseling. I see people struggling financially. Let’s go ahead and preach, have a series on finances. And then that became my finance book. And so I guess if someone said, why should I trust you? Or why should I believe you have credibility regarding finances? Part of the reason is just that I’ve thrown a lot of hours into studying what God’s word said about finances. If I’m looking for an expert, I’m looking for someone that knows what God’s word says about it. That’s an expert to me. And so if I want to talk to people that know about marriage or children or parenting or trials, I’m looking for people who know what God’s word says on these topics.

(34:16)
So I threw hundreds of hours into studying marriage and studying finances. And then second, there’s probably some personal credibility I have just from being, we never have had tons of money. We didn’t grow up wealthy. And so I really attribute it to God. He’s provided. I kind of think of how when Elijah was with that woman and he tells her to go get all those pots for oil and they’re going to provide for her, well, what you notice is the pots, she always had enough, but they’re never overflowing, you might say. And that’s kind of a good way of viewing the Christian life, I think, is there’s a proverb, I almost wish I could look it up where the author says, don’t give me too much so that I forget about you, Lord, but don’t give me too little that I get upset and curse you.

(35:03)
And there’s nothing better about being poor. There’s nothing better about being destitute. God isn’t looking for us. He made certain people rich in the Bible and there’s other people that weren’t made rich, so you’re not better or worse. But I’ve never believed that people are better if they’re suffering financially. And so I think you make wise decisions. We generally buy mostly used clothes. People have given us stuff. We go to Goodwill, we buy used vehicles. We’ve been debt free and plan to stay that way as well. So if you’re, it’s like I said, I quoted Matthew 6 33 that you seek first the kingdom of God and all these things that we added to you. Well, if someone goes and buys a house they can’t afford or buys multiple new vehicles instead of buying with cash, they can’t turn around and say, well, God hasn’t provided for me.

(35:54)
They need to recognize that instead they’ve made bad decisions. And so one of the things I frequently tell people with finances, and this is how I began my book, is that we should view finances as a stewardship. And if you’re a steward, you don’t own something, you just, you’re a manager of it. And this principle of stewardship applies to almost or maybe every area of the Christian life, like my marriage, Katie’s not, I say she’s my wife, but she belongs to the Lord. My marriage is a stewardship, my children, it’s a stewardship. I don’t own them. I didn’t create them. And God can take them. And some parents have experienced that. That’s really one of your biggest fears as a parent that God would take one of your children. But it’s a stewardship. I have this time with them. I can’t control their hearts. Well, our finances are a stewardship.

(36:46)
It’s really God’s money that he allows me to manage and I’m responsible for it. And so then it makes, if you view finances as a stewardship, it makes it much easier to be generous because you’re not giving away your money, you’re giving away God’s money and also makes you manage it better because you view purchases as a spiritual decision. And I’ve noticed people kind of compartmentalize their lives. So it’s like this, here are the things that are spiritual. My time in the word, my prayer life, my church attendance, finances is not really spiritual. But I think that things, how do we determine what is and isn’t spiritual? Well, I would say God’s word. If God’s word deals with it, then it’s spiritual. And the more frequently the God’s word deals with something, the more spiritual it is. So there’s a lot about prayer, love, forgiveness. Well, those are very spiritual. Well, there’s also a lot about finances. In fact, money is one of the most common topics of Jesus’s parables. It’s a super frequent topic in Proverbs. And you get to learn in the Bible when people had a lot of money, God, certain people were rich, Abraham, David Solomon, Joseph. And so the fact that the Bible deals with us so much makes us spiritual. And because of that, every purchase we make and everything we do with our money is a spiritual decision.

Johnny Sanders (38:07):

Yeah, it’s really interesting you saying that. Just within my church life, we are, for one, I’ve just recently become the treasurer, so I kind of see how the sausage is made, so to speak, that kind of dig into that. And it’s been wonderful of seeing the back end. I’ve never seen that before as a church member, but we’ve been dealing with a little bit of a issue, and I’ve been so, it sounds crazy, but so encouraged with this budget issue for one, how our elders, how they really led us during that time of, Hey, let’s not, let’s be scared about any of this. And they pointed to all the blessings we’ve had for years that we haven’t had any budget issues, which was wonderful. And then their encouragement was, Hey, let’s pray about it and be able to restructure our own finances nuts so we can line the pockets of our pastor with a lot of money or have a huge church or whatever, but so we can joyfully manage God’s money, kind of exactly what you’re saying. And that next month, again, getting to see this backend giving went up pretty significantly. We’re talking 15, 20%. Oh,

Scott LaPierre (39:30):

Wonderful.

Johnny Sanders (39:31):

People’s lives didn’t change that much. They didn’t get these huge job increases. They just dug into the spirituality of giving and realized, yeah, we could shave a little bit on this entertainment budget every year. We don’t have to do that. And that was the other great thing too, is me being able to dig in there. I try not to look at names too terribly much, but that’s kind of inevitable if you’re signing the checks. But there wasn’t that one huge gift, the one mega donor that gave $10,000 or whatever, it was a bunch of people giving $20 more and $50 more. And it was just so wonderful to see that and see the joy of church members being able to give more. And I think that’s something, again, that joy word, you’re missing out if you don’t structure your finances in a way to give for godly causes. It’s wonderful to really be able to do that.

Scott LaPierre (40:32):

Yeah, well said. Johnny,

Johnny Sanders (40:36):

Another topic I really wanted to hit with you is in part just because this is such a cultural problem we’re having right now, is it’s just masculinity in general. You hear terms like toxic masculinity and white male privilege and just all of those things that really beat down the God-given role of masculinity. So for men in this culture that are kind of dealing with that, what’s kind of your advice or role that you see for men that are feeling like masculinity is a bad thing?

Scott LaPierre (41:14):

Yeah. Well, just to let you know, Johnny, this is one of my favorite topics. We didn’t connect ahead of time and I say, Hey, John, I bring this up or anything, but no, it’s very important to me, and I’ll kind of get a little momentum into this. So the Bible says that God made them male and female, and that’s repeated a few times in Genesis. And bound up in is much more than just that there’s a male and female. It’s all the distinctions that belong to men and women. And so there is a very clear line between men and women that we are not only created differently, but we have different roles and responsibilities. So I’m going to throw out two terms, and maybe many of your listeners are familiar with this, but just in case some aren’t, I’ll define them. So there’s a term called egalitarian and egalitarians believe that men and women are identical regarding their roles and responsibilities.

(42:06)
This would be, you would see this in marriages where there’s no headship submission. Men are not called to lead. Women are not called to submit or respect their husbands. You would see this in churches where there’s female pastors. I completely disagree with this view. The other view is known as Complimentarian Complimentarian, not C one p l i, but as in praising, but C one p l e, complimenting or fitting together. And I really don’t know how anyone could get around believing this view because God has clearly given different commands or expectations, commands is probably a better word to men and to women where we have different roles and responsibilities within the church and within the home.

(42:53)
God’s pattern has been male leadership. The patriarchs were men, there were kings and not queens. The few queens we see were mostly evil, Athaliah and Jezebel or Jezebel. And her daughter, Alayah, the good queen, Esther was submissive to her husband, even though she was married to an ungodly man, she expected the scepter to be extended. She appreciated his headship, went to him in a very respectful way. And then God worked through Esther’s submission or respect. So there was, patriarchs are men, the kings are men. And then you move into the New Testament. Jesus chose 12 men to be the disciples. He could have done six and six. The 70 that Jesus sent out were men. The elders in the church are men. It says he, him, him, him, husband of one wife. It never says the wife of one husband. It’s all spoken of very masculinely for men to be leaders within the home and within the church.

(43:57)
Now the world, first John five 19 says, the world is under the sway or the rule of the devil. So we can never expect the world to do what the Bible says. So in the world, we initially saw a blend, kind of a denial of the roles between men and women. But now not just a blurring, but now that line has been removed. It’s a perversion. It’s been removed so completely that men can become women, or women can become men, or even very bizarrely, you might not be either. You might not be a man or a woman. And I was a school teacher and I write books I appreciate good grammar, they or them as a plural word. One person can’t be they or them. And so now we have, we’re ruining the English language to accommodate this perverse, I’m almost wondering if abomination is the correct word, but at least perverse is the right word for what we’re seeing with men saying that they’re women, women saying they’re men.

(45:00)
I’ve even seen some people, I like Matt Walsh, and he had What is a woman, which I enjoyed watching with my wife, and there’s people that claim even to be animals today. It’s just I can’t believe people aren’t throwing up their hands. And even unbelievers saying, this is just ridiculous. We need to come back to a reasonable view of humanity. And so biblical masculinity, because toxic masculinity or patriarchal views are being condemned, I am the first one to say, I have a whole chapter in my marriage book about headship submission. What submission is not, it’s not submitting to sin, it’s not submitting to abuse. Wives are not expected to submit to sin and abuse. And even if we just briefly talk about submission, what that is and what that isn’t. So if a godly husband recognizes that the greatest resource for counsel or wisdom in his life, second only to God’s word, is his wife.

(46:03)
So Genesis two 18, God says, it’s not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper. Now, some women cringe at that title helper, but the truth Johnny is that when God said, I’ll make him a helper, that is more a criticism of Adam or not more. That is a criticism or acknowledgement of Adam’s inadequacy or insufficiency versus being a criticism of woman. It’s actually God looking and saying, man needs help. He is the inadequate or insufficient one without his wife. It says nothing bad about a wife. In fact, that’s the same title used for the Holy Spirit in the Psalms, the same title, Jesus says, I will send the helper. It’s the title for God himself. In the Psalms, I think I said, holy Spirit, I should have said God, title for God in the Psalms title for Holy Spirit in John, when Jesus says he’ll send the helper.

(46:53)
So it’s a title of strength and adequacy. So anyway, let’s say any husband that comes to me and he says, I don’t know what to do. I can’t figure this situation out. I don’t know about this job. The first thing I say is, what did your wife say when you talked to her? Because as a pastor, I get people coming to me with questions. And if a guy says, well, I haven’t asked my wife first, I’ll say, you need to go back and talk to her because I expect that frequently. If God made you a helper, that’s her. He wants to work through her and use her to advise you. Now, let’s say a husband and wife talk at length about something. The ideal situation is when they come to an agreement, but that’s not always the case. And so if you’ve listened to your wife, all of her counsel, thoughts, suggestions, and you still feel like you should choose A, and she feels like you should choose B well, what’s the solution at that point?

(47:45)
Do you flip a coin? Is it paper, rock, scissors? God says in that scenario the default, or you defer to the husband and then the wife puts herself behind him and supports his decision. Now, I’ve heard women say this to me before, I would submit to my husband if I agreed with him. When a wife tells me that, she tells me she doesn’t understand submission because submission is entirely in place for when a wife disagrees with her husband. She wouldn’t have to submit if she agreed with him, right? Like my children, if I tell them, go play outside, that’s not an issue of submission. They want to play outside. When I say, go clean your room or go do your homework, that is an issue of submission because they don’t want to do that. Anytime you want to do something that’s not submission, I don’t have to submit to God regarding fun, enjoyable, wonderful things in my life.

(48:34)
So submission is literally in place for when a wife disagrees with her husband, she puts herself behind him and supports his decision. And then an important thing for a wife to understand is that she is not held responsible for the right decision being made. If she was, she would actually never submit. She would never stop pushing for her decision, and she would probably even begin to nag, which the Bible condemns a wife doing in Proverbs. And I’ve heard women say this, and it’s very legitimate. They say, oh, I’m concerned. I’m afraid of the wrong decision being made. And I’ll say, after you’ve shared all your thoughts with your husband, it is not your responsibility to make sure the right decisions made, and if the wrong decision is made, that rests on your husband’s shoulders and not on your shoulders. Now, biblical masculinity is not a husband who’s physically strong, loud, dominating, authoritarian.

(49:34)
Instead, it’s a husband who prays with his family, reads the word with his family, loves and cherishes his wife, loves her in the language of Ephesians 5 25, as Christ loves the church, sacrifices for his wife, sacrifices for his family. That’s biblical masculinity there. It’s a man who views his responsibility as the spiritual leader of his family. If a man said to me, how do I know if I’m ready to get married? Well, in one Corinthians 13, Paul said, when I became a man, I put away childish things. And so I’ll say to a young man, I’ll say, are you willing to give up all of these things for your wife? Because that’s what’s going to be required to be a godly husband. Biblical masculinity means you’re willing to sacrifice and give up many of your wants for your wife so that you can love and cherish her.

(50:27)
It means getting up with kids, changing diapers. It means sacrificing sleep, giving up your video games, possibly maybe completely giving up a lot of your sports and things like that to cherish your wife. The way God commands. And I’ll tell you one thing. Interestingly, Johnny, I know submission is almost like this cringe word. I was doing this marriage conference. I was one of the three keynote speakers. They have this meeting, kind of a leadership meeting for this conference. They bring in the keynote speakers and they want to plan the theme. So the first speaker says, I’ll talk about husbands loving their wives. The second speaker who was paired up with his wife said, we’re going to talk about communication in marriage. And I thought, okay, well, we’ve got husbands loving their wives, the primary command for husbands communication. There’s nothing for wives. And I said, I’ll talk about wives submitting to their husbands.

(51:23)
And it was like he is sucked out of the room. I mean, people, they’re shocked. They’re looking down and it’s like, what did he just say? It was like a bad word or something. And interestingly, any honest reading of the New Testament recognizes that it’s actually one of the most frequent commands, not just for wives, but in the New Testament, it occurs five times. And so anytime a wife is mentioned in the New Testament, there’s an accompanying command for her to submit to her husband. You can’t get around it. So honestly, what I’ve learned Johnny is because most people know it’s there when someone gets up and talks about it or preaches on it, it’s kind of refreshing. And I’ve had a lot of women, it’s like, wow, someone that’s going to tell me what the Bible says and not be fearful and shrink back.

(52:07)
And I’ve spoken in some liberal places and people have come up and said, that was wonderful. I knew the Bible said this, but my pastor wouldn’t talk about it. And one of the super interesting things is because submission gets criticized so heavily, you would expect that women would be coming to my office or coming up to me at marriage conferences criticizing me or talking about how chauvinistic this is or saying, I can’t believe that the Bible commands wives to submit. This is so terrible. Instead, Johnny, the most common criticism I hear from women is My husband won’t lead. I’m hearing the exact opposite. My husband is passive. I want to be able to look up to him. I want him to cast vision for our family. I want him to be a prayerful man. I want to be able to respect him. I want him to pray with our family. So the bigger criticism for men is not being authoritarian or dictatorial or abusive, although I do understand there are men in that category. The bigger criticism is passivity. My husband is a passive unspiritual man, even kind of a spineless man. And it makes it hard for me to be able to look up to him. I talked a lot. I hope I didn’t talked long. You can see

Johnny Sanders (53:19):

I’m passionate about this. I’m glad that you’re passionate about it because it to be said, and something that you alluded to there that I think is a really important piece is we have men, married men and single men that see this shift in culture. They might say, well, there’s no good women out there. Or kind of go listen to like an Andrew Tate or Joe Rogan, this kind of masculine male that doesn’t really have a lot of biblical nature to them. And now all of a sudden, everything is the women’s fault. And that’s something that you really spoke in there of biblical masculinity. Takes it on the chin of, what am I doing wrong here? I’m not finding a godly woman. What am I doing wrong? What am I not taking responsibility? And we’re seeing that passivity in men of just accepting defeat, and that’s not masculine at all, just to accept defeat and to give up essentially.

Scott LaPierre (54:32):

And we actually see in scripture a very strong argument for God placing the responsibility on a husband’s shoulders for what happens in home. And I’ll just give you an example. The fall took place. Eve ate. First she gave the fruit to Adam, and then God held Adam responsibly. If you read Romans five and one Corinthians 15 through one man, sin came into the world him. There’s no discussion of Eve. It’s all about Adam. In fact, you can read that and be like, man, I thought Eve had a lot more to do with this than I’m seeing here. Why is Adam completely, God placed the responsibility completely on his shoulders because he was the head of the relationship, and God holds men responsible for what happens in our homes. Another situation with Abraham and Sarah, Sarah, who’s a great woman, she’s the first Peter three New Testament woman.

(55:21)
She’s the example plucked up out of the Old Testament for women to follow, not because she loved Abraham, although I suspect she did, but because in one Peter three, it says her submission and respect toward him, but she wasn’t perfect. And in a faithless moment, she said, take my servant Hagar. I think it’s Genesis 15, I think it’s Genesis 15 or 16, and everyone knows the account. Abraham passively submits to his wife. And then the next thing you know, Sarah’s Matt at Abraham about what he did, even though he was doing what she wanted. Another example is Ahab. Ahab was a very spineless man. He wants this vineyard that belongs to Naboth. Jezebel comes and says, Hey, you’re the king. You should have this if you want it. And if you remember the whole account, Naboth with Naboth, Jezebel writes up this plan to have Naboth murdered so that Ahab can get that vineyard.

(56:13)
Well, interestingly, even though Jezebel’s fingerprints were on it from beginning to end, she did everything. She wrote the letters, she sealed them and acted like she was Ahab. She could not have taken more responsibility for Neal’s murder. But then God sent Elijah to tell Ahab that Ahab was one who murdered Naboth because God held Ahab responsible for what happened in his marriage. And so the same thing as whether it’s Adam Abraham or Ahab or Johnny or Scott or whoever, God holds us responsible for what takes place in our homes. So we must be leaders. And that doesn’t mean authoritarian. That’s not a leader. It doesn’t mean dictatorial or abuse. So that’s not a leader, that’s sin. I mean Christ-like spiritual leadership in our homes.

Johnny Sanders (56:57):

Yeah, absolutely. And that’s something that men, whether things are going great or particularly if they’re going poor, take that responsibility and don’t take it of I’m just the worst dad ever. But do something, get things in order. And oftentimes that means that you got to confess sin and just keep moving.

Scott LaPierre (57:21):

Yeah. Bring your family together. I’ve done this and say, Hey, there was something that happened. One of my sons, he was kind of disrespecting Katie, and there’s certain things I try to punish pretty severely in the home. One of them kind, because we talked a lot about complimentarian versus egalitarian, my boys, I truly expect them that I have four boys and five girls. They must treat their sisters and their mother. One Peter three, seven says, wives are the weaker vessel or women are the weaker vessel. Well, that means God, it means physically women. It doesn’t mean emotionally or mentally. Some women are stronger emotionally, mentally, intellectually, spiritually than their husbands. It means physically weaker. And we know this because all the men who are going into women’s sports are dominating it. It’s absurd. Well, I talked to my boys, why did God give you greater strength?

(58:13)
And they know the answer. So we can protect women or protect our mother and our sisters. And so if one of my brother sons mistreats, his sister, it’s a pretty severely punishable offense. So one of my sons was being pretty disrespectful to his mother, and I responded and spanked him harder than I should have. And it was very quick. It was very sudden and he could see the anger on my face. And it was a discipline that took place out of anger. And I, and even Katie, even my wife, who was the one being disrespected by her son, told me, said That was just super out of, and we are in favor of spanking our children, but you don’t want to do it in anger. And I did. I had to bring my whole family together and say, Hey, I sin there. I should not have treated my son that way. That was wrong to have done it in anger. And there’s other times where you bring your family together and say, I was impatient or I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have acted that way. Please forgive me. That’s part of being a man that’s part of biblical. And we tell our kids, we say things like, Hey, look, mommy and I are sinful too. We need Christ as much as you do. We don’t preach Christ as though you need Christ and we don’t. We need the gospel just like you guys need the gospel.

Johnny Sanders (59:30):

I think that’s so powerful. That’s something my wife and I have been talking about recently. We’re doing some parenting classes and things like that at church and kind of the more in our parents’ generation and other generations, there was that more authoritarian type of top-down. Mom and dad are essentially can do no wrong. And I don’t think that was the intention, but that’s kind of how that would come across. And every mom and dad does something wrong. We’re all sinful. And to have basically the pride to not apologize, to not say I was wrong here, I am sorry. That’s something we have really taken to heart and try to do the same like you mentioned there, Hey mommy, daddy are wrong. That doesn’t give you a right to disrespect mom or dad, but we have a responsibility to Christ above that. Like you said before, he’s the one in control and we need to apologize when we’re wrong. That’s such a powerful thing to teach your kids.

Scott LaPierre (01:00:36):

And when you apologize, you end up diffusing hostility toward you. Your kids are immediately endeared to you. Your kids might be upset, but the moment that you, and this is any relationship, this is a marriage counseling, anytime there’s a very genuine contrite apology or confession and request for forgiveness, you’ll quickly see a anger and hostility diffused. And I mean in a sincere, the destroyer of apologies is the word, but you need to be able to apologize without using the word, but you can watch it where someone’s like, I’m really sorry I did that. I can’t believe I did it. And then it just ruins everything. But a real sincere apology. I’m sorry I did that. Please forgive me. I feel terrible. You can watch people’s hostility be diffused. Well, if you get your kids together no matter how angry, and you’re like, daddy really blew it, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. You’re going to have a bunch of kids that are like, oh, I love you so much, daddy, you’re so great. They’re going to just suddenly, that’s what humility does. And so pride does the opposite. If you make, and I’ve done this too, I was making excuses this one day in my daughter, I could just see how upset she was becoming at me because I wasn’t accepting responsibility and she knows that that’s what I tell my kids to do and that I’m not doing it. So that hypocrisy made them upset with me.

Johnny Sanders (01:01:56):

Yeah, yeah. No, and it goes back to that responsibility. We need to take that responsibility. Now, speaking of these situations maybe where I need to apologize and it feels uncomfortable or just something beyond that, just dealing with death, dealing with grief, just some type of hard trial in life. How do we prepare for that and handle those trials?

Scott LaPierre (01:02:23):

Yeah, that’s a good question, Donnie. So one of the other books I read, it’s called Enduring Trials God’s Way. That’s kind of my brand. If you look at my books, you can tell God’s Way. Well, I kind of compare some questions, and I’ll use this sports analogy. I used to play football. I went to a small school, and so I used to get the ball a lot. It doesn’t mean that I was good, it just means I was at a small school, at a bigger school I probably wouldn’t have. But anyway, I got the ball a lot. So I kind of learned there’s sort of two ways to be tackled. You’re running down the field, you can tell you’re about to get tackled and you prepare for it and then it might hurt, but it’s not as big a deal. You pick yourself up. The worst kind of tackle is to be blindsided. You don’t see it coming and you pick yourself up pretty slowly from the field. And even that’s frequently when people get hurt. And the reason I mentioned that is I feel like some Christians are kind of like the player running down the field. They’re prepared, they’re ready. They spend time in God’s word, they’re in fellowship.

(01:03:17)
So when a trial comes, they’re kind of like the house that’s built on Christ’s teachings that’s going to withstand those storms that are hitting the house, right? Matthew 7 24 to 27, the parable of the two builders. There’s another type of Christian who’s kind of like that player running down the field. They’re totally unprepared. They don’t spend time in God’s word. They’re not prayerful. They might not even be in a church or they don’t attend church regularly or Faithfully. And so that trial blindsides them and they’re totally unprepared for it. Now, I’ve heard people say, oh yeah, I went through this trial and it really drew me toward Christ. That’s great, but that’s not ideal. Ideally, you are preparing for that trial so that when it comes, it’s tough, it’s uncomfortable, but you’re ready for it. You’ve been built up and strengthened in Christ. It’s kind like the difference between preparing for a test the day of or the weeks leading up to it.

(01:04:12)
I mean, you can prepare the day of and do better, and you can practice for that game the day before, but it’s much better if you’ve been practicing for weeks. And so I tell Christians, if you want to be prepared for trials, you need to prepare for them when you’re not in a trial by those spiritual disciplines being in fellowship. So you can go through it with your church family. That young lady I mentioned who has stage four cancer, well, her and her husband have been super plugged into our church. Everyone loves them. They’re surrounded by this church family when they go through it, and that’s how it should be. But there’s other people, they don’t have a church family. They don’t have anywhere to look. They don’t know what to do. I get these emails from people whose marriages are falling apart, and one of the first things I say is, are you plugged into a local church? If they’re not, I’m honestly kind of not surprised. Their marriage is suffering. They clearly have not been prioritizing Christ about as foundational as you can get going to church. If people aren’t doing that, then what are the chances that they’re going to be in the word and in prayer? So then I suspect their marriage could be struggling.

Johnny Sanders (01:05:12):

Yeah, that’s a really good point that we all need to be aware that it’s not, oh, if I get a trial down the road, you will. We’re going to face different types of trials. Some are going to be harder than others, but you will, yeah, don’t go in disaster mode and just have no idea what to do if you’re not, like you said, especially in a local body and really contributing your spiritual disciplines on a consistent basis. That doesn’t mean the trial won’t be hard, but you’re going to have people around you, you’re going to be in the word be prayerful about it, and it’s going to lessen that blow. I love that analogy of kind of the blindside tle there. Those of you that have watched any type of football, you know what that’s like, that it get hit hard. And if you can help cushion that blow, and that’s something with our current church family that, again, I know it’s not of all church bodies.

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There’s always going to be problems, but we’re so blessed and loved in this church, and we actually moved to this church about, it’s been about three or so years ago. And that was one of the big things is I wanted to, as a husband of if something happened to me, and that was the trial for my wife, that she would have people around her that would take care of her. I saw that as a really important role for me to care for her, protect her even if I’m gone. And I love having that confidence of I don’t have to live in fear of, oh, what happens if I die or whatever. And not that I think of that every day, but that really loosens you up, that I know people would take her in. I know people would take my kids in. And that is so freeing when you have to face those type of trials. So yeah, I love that analogy of preparing for it and just knowing that it’s going to happen.

Scott LaPierre (01:07:16):

Well, being a spiritual leader in your family, even if you’re not going to die, I mean, you went to the extreme, and I appreciate your sensitivity toward that possibility. We had a funeral recently for this father of 12 kids, and his wife was pregnant with their 12th, and she had the child after he died, but he’d been plugged into a church. So there is that possibility, all I’m saying, but even if you don’t die, you still need to love your family by having them plugged into a church, you’re going to have trials. You want your children to be around Christian friends and have a community. And so that’s definitely one way to love your family and lead them well, is to have ’em plugged into a biblical gospel preaching church.

Johnny Sanders (01:07:58):

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, Scott, this has been a fantastic conversation. I think there’s so much, obviously I’m a little biased here that I think you should very listen to every episode just because you should listen to my show. But I do think this is one that there’s just so much weight to a lot of these topics. It probably would be good if you have some specific struggles to go back and hone in on some of these topics. But I know beforehand, before we got on, you said that you’ve got something special for all the listeners here. You got a free gift for them. So kind of speak to the audience about that.

Scott LaPierre (01:08:33):

Yeah, thanks Johnny. And so I talked about marriage and amount in this, and that’s one of my passions. I do marriage conferences more than anything else. I think I told you I was in Oklahoma in February, and so I care about marriages and I wrote a short book. It’s called Seven Biblical Insights for Healthy, joyful Christ-Centered Relationships. And you can get that for free from my website. And so hopefully in the show notes, I’ll send you some links you can put there, including a link to that book. And at my website, that’s kind of the hub where you can find everything about me, my YouTube channel, my books, my speaking engagements. And so that’s where you’d want to, you can also find a contact page there. If you had any questions about any of the things that Johnny and I have talked about today, then I’d love to hear from you.

(01:09:16)
And even if money’s tight, I’ll give you a free electronic copy of one of my books on marriage or finances or trials because my church takes care of me. I’m not doing the books for money. I just want to equip people and see them grow in Christ. And so if you have any questions or issues, then it’d be a privilege to hear from you. And thanks for all you’re doing, Johnny. Thanks for having me on the show, and I appreciated this time with you, and maybe the Lord will let us run into each other in person someday.

Johnny Sanders (01:09:40):

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, yeah, I’ll make sure to get all those links and stuff down there in this show notes so everybody can check those out. And yeah, it was great having you on. Again, I encourage everybody to go and visit the information for the guests, but there’s so much more that Scott has written more into those hundreds of hours of research and appreciate. So I really appreciate you being on the show and sharing your knowledge with us.

Scott LaPierre (01:10:08):

Thanks, Johnny. God bless you, and God bless your listeners.

Johnny Sanders (01:10:11):

Absolutely. Well, thank you everyone for listening to this episode of Faithfully Engaged. Continue to go out there and fight for truth.