Self-Care vs. Selfishness: Finding Genuine Rest in Faith

Show Notes

On this Faithful Friday, Johnny kicks off the show by sharing updates on his website, Faithfully Engaged, including new merchandise like mugs and t-shirts. He encourages listeners to support the show through purchases highlighting the importance of financial support for producing content.

Reflecting on the previous episode with Rebecca Scott, Johnny emphasizes the practical tips shared for structuring life, particularly for moms. The main focus in this episode is self-care, where Johnny delves into its meaning and common misconceptions. He discusses the fine line between self-care and selfishness, urging listeners to examine their motivations behind serving others, encourages listeners to unload their burdens through Jesus, seeking forgiveness and finding genuine rest in Him.

Parenting Gender Confused Children Support Group:

Podmatch: Want to be a podcast guest?  Have your own podcast and want to find guests?  Use podmatch!

Faithfully Engaged Substack:

**This description contains affiliate links.  These links add no cost to you and help support the show.**

Johnny’s Links:


















00:09 – Introduction and Updates on Website

02:31 – Reflections on Last Episode with Rebekah Scott

04:56 – Self-Care: Concept and Misconceptions

07:02 – Motivation Behind Serving Others

09:30 – Priorities and True Self-Care

11:50 – Unloading Burdens Through Jesus

14:19 – Conclusion and Call to Action


Johnny Sanders (00:09.71)

Hello and welcome back everyone to another Faithful Friday here on Faithfully Engaged. Before we really get into today’s topic, I wanted to wrap my cool little, let me get it up in camera, there we go, Faithfully Engaged mug. Yeah, pretty cool. It’s there in the shop, which I’ve talked about before on the podcast, but I’ve recently changed up my website provider. So if you head over to,

And you looked there say like four or five months ago, it’s a new, new place. I’ve handed the keys over to a different website management. It’s actually Freedom Sites, USA. Um, if you ever want to head over there, tell them Faithfully Engaged sent you. Um, and it is a wonderful, uh, website design place over there. Um, and they can definitely take care of your business. Um, again, they have some great conservative Christian values there too. That’s.

anybody that I trust with my businesses, faithfully engaged in truth and grace counseling. I’m going to make sure they have similar values. So these businesses mean a lot to me and you guys mean a lot to me too. So if you have a website and you want to hand the keys over to them, yeah, definitely go their way against freedom sites, USA. And anyways, on my website, like I said, these mugs here are there, got a t -shirt, got a hoodie. I just think they’re cool too. Like they’re, they’re.

pretty nicely made mugs and t -shirts and everything. So head over there. That really does help support the show. I mentioned on the last Faithful Friday that I’ve got two people that are helping me do these episodes and I certainly want to help support them financially and everything. It just takes time to produce and everything. So I’m not trying to tell a big sob story or whatever, go get a cool mug. But really any purchase like that, it really does go a very long way. And…

As always, I’m here for my consultation services as well to help. I’m a licensed counselor. This isn’t counseling. But this is to help get you pointed in the right direction. If you’re stuck, I want to help you get unstuck to get you pointed in that right direction. That’s what’s cool about consultation. It’s like going to be a lot more open, give a lot more opinion. And it’s much more of just pushing you, like pushing the baby bird out the nest, you know. Instead of counseling, it tends to be more.

Johnny Sanders (02:31.694)

Process oriented and usually takes a little bit more time. Consulting is like, hey, do this and this and this. Just go do it. So I really like the consulting work. So anyways, let’s get into today’s topic, which on Monday’s episode I talked with Rebekah Scott. Great conversation. She has some wonderful practical tips, especially for moms out there. I love the practicality. Again, that’s a big purpose of Faithfully Engaged is to just stop. Conservative Christians just we—

We whine too much to be quite honest about how bad things are and don’t actually do things. I love that Rebecca had some very practical tips of ways that you can just structure your life better. If you’re a mom, especially a stay at home mom or just have kids or maybe you’re a working mom or dad or whatever, it’s easy to get bogged down and be tired and just…

Maybe give up doing some really important things because you’re just tired. And that may mean that we have to let go of some things. And we might talk a little bit about that later, later today, but it also may mean that we need to be just more. Efficient with our time and Rebekah is great at that. Um, I highly encourage you to listen to that episode that I just released on, on Monday with Rebecca Scott, but, um, yeah, great practical tips there to structure your life. Well, one thing we talked about though.

I want to get a little bit more in depth with this today about “self-care”. Now self-care is one of those words that like many things out in the culture has some good meaning. I think some pretty good intention is behind it and some pretty awful applications at times. So self-care is basically just taking time for yourself to help manage your stress and

De -stress, kind of unwind throughout the week. Typically when people think of self -care they’re gonna think of like taking a bubble bath at the end of a long day or taking time out of your day to make sure that you’re exercising or maybe go and getting your nails done or something like that Just some of that time by it by yourself for my wife this Unfortunately for her doesn’t happen probably enough for her but there’s times that she’ll tell me like

Johnny Sanders (04:56.942)

Hey, Johnny, can you watch the kids just for a few minutes? I’m gonna go have some mommy time. And that might mean she goes into the bedroom or texts a nap or just kind of scrolls on her phone. She’s just not with the kids for just a few minutes. She also goes and takes runs. That’s a really big self care thing for her. Those are all good things. I wanna stress this before I get into this, that those are good things. The issue that I have with the self care,

kind of movement is how broad that can be and how at times it can really take too much of the self part. You’ve probably heard people say, or you’ve probably been guilty of saying this yourself. And I say that I’ve been guilty of saying it myself if I never take time to myself. I’m always busy doing things for other people and never doing anything for myself. And sometimes that is true, but that does happen. However,

We are all selfish. Let’s just call it what it is. If we weren’t selfish, I’ve said this before, I’ll say it again. If we weren’t selfish, if we were all inherently good, there is no point of Jesus. There’d be no reason for Jesus to have come to die for our sins. We wouldn’t need a savior. And quite frankly, that is not true. We are all sinful. We are all selfish. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. Point blank.

So if you catch yourself saying, man, I’m constantly doing stuff for people all the time.

There’s some good to that. We need to be serving others, but what is your motivation? Sometimes when we are busy helping other people, the motivation isn’t always pure. Maybe it’s, I don’t want them to be mad at me. Maybe it’s, I want to look good. Maybe it’s, well, this is just what I’m, what I’m supposed to do. Um, if you serving others is not out of love,

Johnny Sanders (07:02.574)

then it’s selfish. It’s not an actual caring act. You do things for your kids because you love them. You do things for your friends because you love them. You do things for your spouse because you love them. You really need to check yourself. Why am I doing these things? What is my motivation? Is it out of love or is it out of some other alternative reason? And part of why I’m getting into this is self -care sometimes

It just magnifies the self and makes you not care about others as much. You start putting yourself kind of on this pedestal. And quite frankly, look, we all have ourselves at front by nature, at first place by nature. Like I said, we’re all inherently selfish. We’re all sinful creatures. When’s the last time that you yourself like, you know what?

I just don’t feel like eating anything today. I don’t feel like going to sleep today. Um, I don’t feel like drinking water today. I know some of you might have different struggles with some of those issues at times, but you don’t just sit there and have to think about those things all the time. It’s pretty inherent. We go and get those things done. Whereas caring for other people out of a true caring, loving part of our soul.

It generally is a little more foreign to us. It’s something that takes a little bit more effort. It goes against that fleshly nature, um, that, that we have that just cares for ourselves. So even if you are doing things for other people, what I’m continuing to emphasize is you need to have your heart in the right place. Because if I’m giving to others just to make myself feel better, that’s not true humility. That’s not true love. So.

When we look at self-care, we do need time for ourselves. We do need time to rest, to unwind. It’s just important that we have it in perspective. We have our priorities straight. And this goes back to where maybe I need to X some things out of my life. Maybe I’m volunteering for all of these things because it makes me feel good or that I want to, I don’t want to hurt my friends feelings or whatever, but I’m neglecting my family.

Johnny Sanders (09:30.349)

because of that. That’s not selflessness. It’s not just because you’re keeping yourself busy. It’s actually a form of selfishness because you’re not getting your priorities done well. We need to take care of your family first, your church first, before we take on too many other responsibilities. So if we’re going to look for true rest, for true self care, where do we find that?

And I’m not going to give you all of the practical steps here, more of just the spiritual foundation here. So I’m going to read a passage here from Matthew 11: 27 through 30. Again, this is in the ESV. So starting with verse 27, all things have been handed over to me by my Father and no one knows the Son except the Father and no one knows the Father except the Son.

and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Here’s the big piece here. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Look, taking a bubble bath.

being able to get some time alone or whatever, hey, those are things that are good for you to do. I’m not telling you to not do those. It’s important for you to find some time in your schedule to do that. But I’ll tell you what really doesn’t give you rest is when you’re dragging a bunch of sin around, when you’re dragging a bunch of selfishness around, when you haven’t been to church in a long time and you’re feeling guilty about that. If you are a true believer, I’m not saying this to beat yourself.

yourself up over this. It’s actually a good thing that you’re dragging those things around and that it’s that reminder. You’re out of bounds. If you’ve sitting there and you’re proclaiming you’re a Christian and you haven’t been to church in five years and you’re dragging some guilt around for that, again, that’s a good thing. You should feel guilty about that. Again, I don’t want to pile that on you, but where do we unload that? We unload it through Jesus.

Johnny Sanders (11:50.957)

We unload it through the gospel, through our forgiveness of sins. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. We don’t have to drag those things. We are willingly choosing to do that, especially as a Christian. When we’re willingly dragging around our sin, dragging around our selfishness, and we’re not unloading it on him, we’re not being prayerful to God, I screwed up. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me? We’ve not gone to our brothers or sisters that I…

I misspoke there or I was out of balance there. I am sorry. When we yell at our children and when we’re angry and we’re mad, but we’re also shameful of our actions and we don’t ask for forgiveness, we don’t say sorry, we don’t model that humility to our children. Guess what? You’re dragging stuff along. In a bubble bath, it’s not going to take care of that. It might make you feel a little bit better in the short term, but you’re still dragging that sin around. You’re dragging it around with you.

all day, every day, and it’s heavy. It is very, very heavy. And it’s something that you cannot unload on your own. You can’t. But God can. Jesus can. He came to die for our sins, who had done no wrong, who was perfect. He willingly took those sins on himself and died for them, but he didn’t stay dead. He beat death, was resurrected.

Beautiful, wonderful stories. Why don’t we call it the gospel? It’s the good news. If you want true self care, you’re going to put, take those sins off, ask for forgiveness, be humble, seek forgiveness from others. And then we move forward. That’s something that I’ve learned from being a young parent, that when we’re able to discipline our children, deal with stuff early in the moment, we don’t drag it around all day.

We don’t have to like, to go to my daughter or my son or whoever and like, I can’t believe you did that 10 hours ago, two weeks ago or whatever. It’s done. We move on and we tell that to our children all the time. All right, we’re done with this. If you need some time to go calm down in your room, great. But when you come back in the living room, like we’re playing a game or something like we’re moving on. We’re done with this. And what a horrible comparison would I be as a parent compared to my Lord?

Johnny Sanders (14:19.981)

my savior as far as having that yoke being easy and burden light. I try to model it the best I can but I can’t do it perfectly. I’m not my children’s savior. I can’t do that. Christ can. Christ is. Don’t get so wrapped up in the short term rest that you may get from the bubble bath, from getting your nails done, from exercising. All good things. All very good things. You’re still dragging things around with you.

So if you want that burden to be light, have you confessed your sin? Are you going to church? Do you have discipline set up in your church for things that you have going on or just people that you can talk to and confess to, talking to your pastor, to your pastor’s wife, crying out about the difficult things you have going on? Do it. I’m not saying that everything just magically goes away. You don’t have any bruises or scars on earth.

Life is hard. It’s not perfect here on earth. We know that, but we can’t be willingly dragging things along and then saying, I’m just going to start putting myself first. It’s not going to work. It just doesn’t work that way. Get on your hands and knees, be humble to Christ. His burden or his yoke is easy. His burden is light. Please remember that. Thank you all for listening today. Again, if you are interested, get a mug, go, go.

Check out a t -shirt, it really does help the show. I also have donation links on my website. If you’re sitting there stuck, you’re like, I don’t have any good church leadership right now. I don’t know, I don’t even know how to get started. I’m depressed, I’m addicted to porn. I’m just doing all these terrible things. I don’t know what to do. Consider checking me out for consultation. Again, my goal is not to be your pastor. I’m not. My goal is not to be your best friend. I’m not. But I do know enough.

to help point you in the right direction. And that’s my goal here of these consultation services is to help get conservative Christians out of their head, out feeling sorry for themselves and getting out, be active, go live out your life, live out your values, your morals in your day -to -day life. So if you’re interested in that, check me out, my consultation services at All right, hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll catch you on Monday. All right, bye.